• In simpler terms, it’s loving yourself a little harder!

Break Up illustration
Break Up illustration
Image: Courtesy

The hoe phase is glamourized in the media, it’s that stage between fresh out of a relationship and not wanting a relationship but still wanting to get your needs met.

Trust me I understand the urge but if you don’t heal after a heartbreak or a break-up, you are just going to hurt even more.

Have you seen the miracle of ‘The Me” phase?

It’s empowering and liberating. Simply, revolutionary and a total no-brainer.

The ‘me’ phase is simply when you are in charge of your happiness. Know what pieces of your life you need to leave to fate. And most importantly you know what pieces of your life you need to take charge of; this being your goal, work and work ethics.

In simpler terms, it’s loving yourself a little harder! I could debunk a lengthy list of ways one can embrace the me phase after a messy break-up, but I will start small so some of you could catch up.

Do a social media cleanse

When a break-up is fresh, seeing what your ex is up to, can trigger a shitstorm of emotions. Save yourself from the agony of witnessing your ex’s life after you by blocking, muting, unfollowing and unfriending them and any of their friends and family on social media.It’s not petty, it’s self-care.

Plan a trip with friends or family

What could be more beautiful than you and friends or family having a time of your lives in an isolated island sipping Pina coladas? Simply escaping reality!You deserve that and more.

Get rid of your ex stuff

We can’t possibly stop at cleansing your socials. The post-split purge is just starting! Shared furniture, love letters, framed photos and other real-life junk should be returned or just gotten rid of. Why would you be keeping them anyway?

Give yourself credit for the little things

Put your best foot forward by practicing self-compassion. In a thick of emotions, you may resort to self-destruction by staying in bed and drowning in your misery. Or decide it’s time to bring out the “hoe” in you. But that is so far from acknowledging the best version of you.Give yourself credit for the little you’re doing to better yourself.

Be yourself

After a messy break-up you might ask yourself a series of questions; ‘was I the problem? Did I do something wrong?’ This may lead you to trying to change who you are, to fit the ‘perfect’ box. You may remember the ugly names that your ex called you, you will believe every word he said.

News flash! You are none of those things. You’re perfect just the way you’re. keep being the authentic self that you’re.Be the most you that you can.

After all these is said and done, you will realize the power in the “Me Phase”