Enough is Enough: When a man should stop adding more wives

Why you should not add more wives

  • Evaluate your first marriage
  • Emotional preparedness
  • Do you have enough  money? 
Marries two wives on the same day
Kajiado man Marries two wives on the same day
Image: Courtesy

Dear men, it is not an offense to add more wives. 

In fact, the African culture, and even Kenyan law supports polygamy. 

The only person who opposes polygamy is your wife, or first and second wives when you want to add the fourth and fifth wives. 

But there is always a limit to every freedom and marrying a second or third wife should be well thought

Here are some of the factors you should consider before adding another wife; 

1. Purpose

As a man, you should consider the purpose of adding another spouse. What different things do you intend to do with her? Establish whether you want to expand your family or just a partner to traverse the world with. 

Also consider whether the woman will be a value addition in your life or not. If there is nothing new you are bringing into your life, stop adding wives. 

2. Evaluate you first marriage/marriages

Definitely, you might be adding a second wife because you feel like you lacked something in your existing marriage. 

As a man, you don't want to add a burden on your shoulders by inviting more conflict in your life through a second marriage. 

Analyze common conflicts that you have with your first wife to see if she is truly the problem or it is you. 

If you are the problem, it is expected that you will have the same conflicts with your second wife too. 

You should clearly think about what you have lacked in your existing marriage, that you intend to find in a new woman. 

3.Finance

Do you have enough income to support another lady or additional kids? 

Your financial ability is a big determinant of how your life will be when you get additional responsibilities in the name of a wife and child. 

Make sure you have enough money to support your existing family before adding more dependents to your list. 

If you dont have enough money, do not add another woman. 

4. Emotional preparedness

You should be emotionally prepared to get another wife. Consider how you can divide your attention to your existing wife and your new wife. 

How strong are you to handle the mental and emotional drain of having more than one lovers? 

Also consider the emotional preparedness of your first wife or the two wives that you already have. 

How will they receive the news of your other marriage? 

Some women may not accept the polygamous state you are setting, and this could lead to resistance, and worst of all emotional instability. 

There have been many cases of a woman committing suicide because her husband married another wife. Avoid this by all means.