6 ways of dealing with heartbreaks

Piece by: Caroline Mutembei
Lifestyle

1. Accept your feelings

It’s normal to feel a combination of anger, confusion, jealousy, anxiety, depression and even rejection when your ex moves on.

It doesn't help to fight these emotions, so just allow yourself to feel them.

Realize that this is just a part of healing in the breakup process.

These feelings won’t last forever so ride them out and they will pass.

2. Avoid online stalking

Oh I know it’s very tempting to hit social networking sites to find any information on the girl that has stolen your ex’s heart.

Once you find her profile, questions will instantly swirl through your mind like: What does he see in her? What does she have that you don’t? Are you better than her or is she better than you? Don’t do this to yourself.

Instead of hunting her down on social networks and emotionally torturing yourself with those kinds of questions, go out and do something that makes you happy.

3. Focus on yourself

Chances are if it was your ex that initiated the breakup and you are still in love with him, you focused on ways to get him back after the relationship ended.

However, if he’s with someone new, you have to change the focus from him and the old relationship towards you.

At this point , he’s obviously not interested in reconciliation because he’s busy in a new relationship.

So instead of wasting thoughts on him and his new girl, start focusing on you.

4. Remember your reasons for break up

Create a list of all the reasons that your ex was not the right person for you. Write down all the things you hated about being in that relationship as well.

Any time you end up thinking about your ex, you'll look at the list.

5. Avoid confrontations

If you and your ex had been together a long time, it's hard to understand how he can move on so quickly after the relationship ended.

It is  painful to know that some other girl is filling the place you held in his life and they are making new memories together.

Although you might be tempted to confront him because you wonder if he ever loved you since he moved on so quickly, it's one of the worst things you can do.

Instead of confronting him, cut ties with him so you aren't stuck in relationship limbo waiting for him to end things with her.

6. Get busy

It’s common to have recurring thoughts of the new couple.

You picture him doing all the things with her that the two of you used to do together.

These thoughts are like vicious psychological daggers to the heart that reopen the breakup wound.

The only way to overcome them is to distract yourself with things like listening to music, reading a book, learning a new hobby, going to the gym or watching a movie.

The goal is to find fun distractions so your mind doesn't focus so much on your ex and his new relationship.