“Economy ni mbaya, ni vile nina survive.”

“Hakuna pesa saa hii.”

“Nitakulipa after elections.”

Its no secret that some industries aren’t doing well because of the pending elections. That means that some people will have the brokest Christmas in years.

How will you survive in to the new year?

  1. Don’t get in to a relationship. Save that date money. Relationships are expensive. Airtime, gifts, condoms, dates, mpesa, electricity ya kucharge simu ndio ureply text, water bills because you now shower more….. don’t date
  2. Lipa kibanda for a full month. Paying your kibanda bill for the month is smart. Why? You will get a discount and if you ever get broke, you won’t get hungry
  3. Changia mzinga instead of going to the club. In the spirit of Harambee, get your friends to your place and changia mzinga. Instead of going out and buying drinks at inflated prices, changia KC coconut na maji moto plus lemon.
  4. Take cold showers. Do you know why people jog in the morning? Because they cant afford to go to the gym and it shaves you electricity bills from using the instant shower. Think about it, when you get back home after jogging, you will want to cool off and subsequently save on electricity bills with a cold shower
  5. Become a vegetarian. Remember that friend of yours who says “Sikulangi nyama siku hizi….. ata pombe niliwacha”? Become them. That broke friend of yours who masks the brokenness with “Lazima nichunge mwili siku hizi:
  6. Ride a bike to work. Don’t be ashamed. Say “I'm trying to keep fit”. Just make sure that your workplace has a shower. You don’t want to smell all sweaty at work. Its disgusting
  7. Date a rich person. Okay, I know that I said that you shouldn’t get in to a relationship... but if they are rich. Date that politician, CEO, tenderpreneur, kibanda owner etc…