Hakuna siri ya watu wawili. An advertising magnate was put on blast by his wife for stepping out in their marriage. The wife took to a Telegram channel that exposes dead beat dads and randy men and detailed his nefarious affair.
"We have been married for 7 years now. We started with nothing and I helped my husband through his business. He is now a proud owner of a reknown advertising agency in Kenya," she wrote.
"The problem is he is constantly cheating on me. He says he loves me but he doesn't know why he cheats. We have a lovely daughter together. I don't know how much I can hold through this marriage. At the same time, I don't want to disappoint my loved ones with a divorce especially my 2 year old daughter. What should I do?" asking for help.
Here are some of the sombre reactions by members of the group.
"In the same situation and planning to leave soon najipanga kwanza. I've been married for 5 years. My 2 kids will understand when they grow," one mother wrote.
"Tell her that her happiness comes first. Her daughter will look upto that marriage for guidance in relationships and she would think it is right for a man to cheat on and mistreat her so she'll stay in bad relationships. And you may not know it but staying may also have a negative impact on the child, you may find yourself at times taking out your frustrations with your husband on the child. Take time, jipange then leave for your peace of mind. People will be disappointed maybe, but for how long will they dwell on that? I know it's easier said than done, leaving takes a lot of strength but when you do you will be relieved. Just ensure you don't ruin your child's relationship with the father. People nowadays co-parent and it goes well. The child will have a good relationship with 2 happy parents. Sometimes you have to be a little selfish in life. Self love always comes first.I have to put up with my cheating hubby. Have given him everything a man can expect and more. If its sex he has it every day any time to the maximum till he cries. Am beautiful inward and outward. Hakuna kitu anakosa. I have even found a video he recorded of himself with other woman making out on his laptop. But for the sake of my child I just have to put up with him. But, better the devil you know than an angle you know nothing about."
I'd like to contribute to the discussion, I think we are always looking for an easier way out of things, going away won't solve anything if anything you're just making life for the child more complicated, it's easier said than done for women because they get up keep after separation,I'm not condoning cheating but it never started now, even in our younger days our parents did the same, the only difference is we never took short cuts of running away. The truth strength of a woman lies on how she is able to deal with such things
My 2 cent thought. Leaving is never the solution. We are taught in proverbs (the proverbs woman) only the wife has the power to break or build a home. At times we need our women to stand up for us even if we do wrong, and hope for the best
The question is both ways, Can a man stay in marriage if it was your wife constantly cheating on you?
So before you preach to us about the proverbs woman, jibu iyo.
Hae. They say that she should leave but they are not telling her where to go. Life out there is harder than death if one is not financially stable. If the guy is responsible in their marriage, I would advice her to hold on hawa wanaume huwa wanabkam irresponsible wanaacha kusupport watoi. Just stop spying on your hubby if you want to stick to your marriage. Leave his phone ALONE. You also have the liberty to cheat bila kumjulisha. Haina haja uache mwanaume mmoja uende ukalale na wanaume kumi huko nje ukitafuta amani na liziki. Ata kama unapesa pia utamiss kukunjwa kavu at one point in your life. For me I ud advice till death do them apart as long hakuna violence.
And I see someone saying that staying in the marriage and letting the daughter know the father is a sign of strength. Even the bible allows a partner to leave a union in the case of infidelity. A child can always know both parents even if they are not together. Co-parenting works and a child gets to know both parents. It's all about you as adults putting aside your issues for the children's sake. Get a schedule for the kids to spend time with both parents. If they school during the weekday they can spend it at mum's and weekends over at dad's. They still get to know both parents. Do not bad mouth the other parent. Let kids know you and form their own decisions. Kids read a lot from us adults. They are smarter than we give them credit for.
On the issue of leaving my man.my stand is i will not walk out of it.am there to stay.let him feed cloth and educate his children. I can't hustle my ass with a man and suddenly walk out.actually I think it's easier for him to leave. As for me ain't going anywhere.
We have to stop this mentality of staying in abusive relationships Just because the society will judge us
At the end of the day it's your life hurting yourself to impress a man is unacceptable a no no
And if you have a job then staying in a bedsitter with peace of mind is waaaay better
Stop asking her to stay while she's hurting
Tue man doesn't even respect her and she has already tried her best and as I said before it's not accepting defeat it's holding on to dignity and sanity
Hakuna aja ukufe na depression.
It's easier said than done i have been married for ten plus years blessed with 2 baby's..I found my husband cheating on me with someone i welcomed in my home and became very good friends with her she's also married with 4kids...The time i found out wanted to move out you should have seen my eldest baby cry it was so hard on me that i stayed...i have never forgiven him.
Kwa io discussion.... I now see why kuna many single parents nowadays.our parents were not magicians to have lived pamoja izo miaka zote pamoja.they had there own share of faults but it took our strong mothers to keep the marriage holding strong. men are to faults same to women. no one is perfect. but a woman was created n armed to persevere all that would come along Kwa marriage be it better or worse. thats why she was created last. remember God after creation looked at all thing and so them perfect and only in man did he see imperfection and made a woman (a second woman)
Let me put some twist here...in Gen1:27 God creates man and a woman. yeah a man and a woman were created...but again later God looks and sees man unhappy and creates EVE (Gen2:22) out of Man's ribs.
Hata mungu alipeana Adam 2 women Kwa life yake. wa kwanza akuwe secretive na wa pili eve ndio watu wajue.
N we see Adam did his roles well as a man bila eve complaining nor the first woman (lillith)
As long as the man can take care of his family well bila kuwa dead beat ama kulenga responsibility zake then sioni y complains should arise.its never cheating but rather following in the footsteps of Adam n God. Wa kupinga afungue bibilia asome ajionee ukweli
But if the man is abusive in any way be it physicaly or emotional then hafai kuwa na uyo mwanamke. .....the woman should leave.its never being strong kama unajiekea hangman's noose Kwa shingo mwenyewe
Tell her to request him to move out. Aende alale Na wanawake akishachoka atarudi ama atatulia. Let her not divorce him or cause drama. Ata asiambie relatives. But she makes sure that they have an arrangement where they each see each other every once in a while, he pays bills and the guy sees his mtoi.
Then for her mwambie kama ni gym, aende . Why coz possibly the guy has dharaud her so he doesn't see like she is worth something. Let her go to school, get a better job and update her wardrobe. If she needs to go to for dance classes aende. Then she needs to vent so she looks for a trustworthy friend to walk with her in that period.
Additionally when the child is old enough akalishwe aongleshwe.
The lady must also understand some pple make better friends that lovers.