Kirinyaga deputy Governor Peter Ndambiri

I have an uncle who has been mentoring me and one of the lessons I have learned from him is that in life, there are only two types of men, predators and prey; dominant men and weak men. Conversely, there are three types of women: wife material, time wasters and DTFs.

The interesting difference between the genders is that once a man fits into a category, it takes hard work for him to break his mould. As for women, they can embody all three types for different men. A woman can be DTF (Google that acronym fam) for one man, be a complete time waster for another and be wife material for yet another.

For the uninitiated, this is the reason the friendzone exists.

The moral of his lesson is that while wife material women are as rare as snow leopards, one must ask his ancestors for the wisdom to recognize when he has found one. And Peter Ndambiri has a winner.

For those of us who have been living under a rock, a video surfaced that showed Peter Ndambiri as naked as the day he was born, being accosted by a number of unknown men for sleeping with some random trollop. Her name has since been revealed to be Elizabeth Waithera Njuguna.

When speaking in church, Peter Ndambiri’s wife said,

The devil had been defeated and the devil will not succeed.”

Peter Ndambiri
Peter Ndambiri

That simple statement was packed with gems that I feel I would be remiss not to highlight for Kenyan women wherever they may be. And those lessons are:

#1. Protect your union if you are married to a dominant man

If you are married to a strong man, make no mistake about it, you have won in this game called life. The only criteria for you should be whether your needs and those of the children are met and if so, protect your union. Sure, there will be alot of women making snide remarks about “Hiyo ingenifanyikia ninge-pace” but guess what? All those heifers are bitter and lonely. Safeguard your home sister!

#2. A man is only as faithful as his options

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The only man that is “faithful” is a man with no options. And the only man with no options is a man who is doing poorly in life. So if you have a loser, then congratulations, he is going to be faithful.

#3. Marriage is for life. Work out the issues between the two of you

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Why are you involving your mother/ sister/ bestfriend/ the poor bastards in the friendzone into your marital issues? The same sister/ friend advising you to leave is the same one who will sleep with your man should you be foolish enough to leave. Stay woke sis!

#4. The only thing you shouldn’t forgive is weakness in your man

And why should you? Evolution groomed you to look for a man who can fend for you and your offspring and if he is weak, he will not be able to do so. But there is a caveat here. If you are old and wrinkly by the time you are getting married, settle down sis.