Captain kale
Captain kale

Captian Kale is known for speaking a lot of ‘Kak’ about women, yaani he spews hot flaming hokum that should be slung into a dirty toilet.

The toilet should then be run over by a brand new bulldozer and buried in red soil from Muranga. To be forgotten. Kabisaaaaa.

If you don’t believe me, here is something Captain Kale said about women in marriages.

“Women are just in these marriages because of money and even if they get hurt by anyone that comes from Karen or Runda, they will stick around just because of money kama kupe. I wonder when these women will start living their own lives and start providing for their children without their men’s support. Where did the rain start beating them? A man cannot take you if he does not love you.”


“Women suffer from verbal diarrhea. Mdomo ya mwanamke haiwezi fungika, inakuwanga open tu. There are no men like Kenyan men. They are just using lots of English words for nothing.”

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Captain Kale even goes a notch higher to advise men to marry twilight girls.

The best woman to marry in this days situation is a prostitute.Someone in Koinange or Sabina-Joy not this ladies who are working in the offices.The reason is these people in Koinange are genuine and 90% of those people who are there is because of problems.So when take her out of there and marry her she will make a good wife because she has gone a lot.

I know a number of women from Koinange that got married to my friends and there are perfect wives.Dont go around there looking for virgins or what to marry those are the one in hurry to get in to marriage leave them alone.In fact I was praying to God if I was not married right now I wish to get a woman who has gone even with even 50 men , those people with experience in life.

Captain Kale

If you go to towns out there you will find out that those people who have office wear the lawyers, bankers they are being f****d during lunch time I have seen many.’unapata wameshika izo viti virefu kwa club amekaa tu hapo’, they are not even going to lose because they are going to fix their job there and they are married.

So which is better? it is better the one I will get from Koinange ‘mwenye nmelipa iyo 1000 nmkatie vizuri’, I get her and she accept my marriage proposal.”

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The captain concluded by saying that he can never allow his wife to go out with a male friend

I normally allow my wife to go out with her girlfriends but never with a male friend.There is no man who is just a friend to a woman because there will come a time even if it is after ten years ‘huyo mwanaume atamyadua’.He is just waiting for his time unless he is your brother but if just a friend there is time that he will do something.”

kaleIn his defence Captain Kale said he doesn’t hate women.

“I don’t hate women, I just want marriage to be respected and ladies to treat their husbands as their mothers do to their fathers. Nowadays, most of them smoke and drink more than their fathers. Modern women can barely cook. That’s why marriages are dead. They don’t last for long. And that’s the reason why I keep calling Classic is to try to advise this young generation.”

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Anyhow, he got into rouble when a city husband found out his wife had saved Captain Kale’s number on her phone as “Sweet Honey”.

The dude saw red.

“I know u r captain kale, so u r having an affair wit my wife? She has even saved u as ‘sweet honey’ can u leave her or u will regret. Nitakuanika hata leo. Ngoja,” the man shot an SMS to Captain Kale.

Shocked and distressed, Kale explained to the woman’s hubby:

“Hey boss, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m selling honey. Unless that’s why she saved me that way. Kindly confirm with her!”

Check out the rest of the conversation in the screenshot below.


Later Captain Kale told his fans:

“I was sweating, Acha niende nioge kinyambizi ilikuwa imekunjana.”

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