It’s never easy to lose a loved one, but it’s twice as hard when your partner dies and leaves behind a newborn daughter never to see her grow up.

That is the case of legendary Kenyan music producer Tedd Josiah whose wife Reginah Katar died and left behind a newborn daughter.

Although he did the job and is still doing it, raising their daughter Jay has not been an easy journey.

Tedd has however shared his journey from the start online and below are a few lessons widowers can learn from him.

Death is a personal loss

No loss is the same, so one is allowed to mourn whichever way they feel like as long as they are not hurting themselves.

Mourn the best way you know how, write journals if need be, share videos if need be as long as it will help you heal.

Always talk to someone

Tedd shared how depression had him closed off in the house for days.

It’s only some family members and some close friends who realized he was ‘drowning’, that came to his rescue, always have such friends whom you can talk to.

Don’t always have friends who only call when they want to go out drinking.

Move on only when you are ready

When one’s spouse dies, society expects that one will quickly move on especially if you are a man.

In a recent post, Tedd shared that one of the reasons he is yet to get married is because he does not want to settle for less than what he had.

He wants someone to help him grow and not vice versa, according to him he will only move on when he is ready.

And that is the way it should be.

Grief is a never-ending process

There is no timeline as to when one heals or recovers from the loss of a loved one.

Thus it’s important to accept that death is a permanent loss. Some days will be good others will be bad and that is okay.