With all the sad stories that have been doing rounds, Kenyans have shared some of their hilarious experiences the first time they had intercourse.

Their narrations will definitely lift your Monday blues.

Mike narrated about how a woman fainted during a romping session

‘Back in sec school days kuna dame from nearby sch nilikuwa nakatia na akakubali kunitembelea.

Sitawahi sahau that Sunday afternoon alikuja akiwa very smart na kama kawa akaingia kwa cube tulianza kucaress as we both had been longing to do it.

After kundress nilislide mjulus mahali yake na kukuru kakara ikaanza….nilipokuwa nakaribia climax, niliona dame amestraighten both legs na kupumua kwa nguvu.’

The good, the bad and the ugly of Oscars 2020 – Photos

Mike added that the woman he was in bed with stated foaming  in the mouth. This threw him into panic.

‘Nikafikiria ni kujienjoy wewee kumbe alikuwa Epileptic (kifafa) na ishamshika …mjulus ilishrink bila kumwaga nikatoka mbio na boxer na usisahau anatoa povu na mdomo.

Cube yangu ilikuwa nyuma ya kitchen ya shush so nilipita hapo mbio na boxer, shush aliniita but nikama nilikuwa nimechizi juu niliambia shush, “nii ndinamuitiriria” mimi sijamumwagia.

na saa hio ni 4pm na watu wako around…niliwe kelewa walking stick moja nikaambiwa nirudi nivae nguo niache ujinga.’

Adding,

‘kurudi kwa keja natetemeka asiwe amekufa, but kwa bahati nzuri nikapata ndio anajisikia but hako stable vile, kuniangalia to na haongei.

Urafiki iliishia hapo hata kama alikuwa ananitembelea…i thought mtoto wa wenyewe amekufa.’

 

*Joyce added,

‘My first sex my worst/best sex •.* tulikuwa form 4…

nikaenda kwake sato after tuition romance as usual but that day was the day I was to open server.

In a few minutes my flowered nylon skirt was down.

I saw his gun upright..I started sweating and panicking today is my day of dying.

He entered it once and removed. entered again and removed again and now I felt pregnant…

I jumped down and WoRe my skirt leaving the house like a mad person.

I thought the sex was over… never knew Kuna kitu inamwagangwa ….we broke up.’

5 Lessons Kenyan artistes should learn from Papa Dennis’ death – List

*Njeri narrated how a romping session ended badly after the man she was with fainted only to later blame her for witchcraft.

‘He gave me  banging [email protected] and I decided its my turn now to make him feel like a man’ nilipoona yupo karibu kumwaga I did one powerful kegel, enough to choke his dick.

Inserted my middle finger in his ass and located the prostrate gland and pressed mtoto wa watu alikondoa macho nikadhani ni raha.’

Adding,

‘He blessed me with his semen and the nigga fainted the embarrassing part is how I ran outside the gate to ask for help naked crying.

It was on Sunday and some women gave me a leso, and called someone to give him first aid, but the nigga later dumped me that niko na uchawi.’

Mungu wapee nguvu! Meet Moi’s grandsons

*Racheal also narrated her tale.

‘Huyu msee alikua akishinda kusema [email protected] hadi ni squirt na after [email protected] Mara ka nne skuwai squirt juu hafikishi mtu uko na him being a kalenjin sikutaka akue na low self esteem.

libidi iyo day nisusu to acha kianze kujipiga kifua ‘000h yes baby we did it’ I was like you and who? Did what?’

Another added,

‘Muscle pull ilinishika when almost kumwaga nilipiga nduru dame akadhani nimecollapse.’

Read more

MPASHO TV