Watching the Diamond vs Zari’s war of words unfold on social media has been an informative spectacle for me. Everything my uncle (aye, here I go again quoting my uncle) has ever told me about masculinity and family has played out right in front of our eyes.
Where did the rain start beating East Africa’s biggest star Diamond Platnumz? Well, for starters, when he decided to sleep with Zari. There was no justification for that. She is significantly older than him and had nothing to offer aside from being Zari.
Her marriage to Ivan had ended and she was enjoying her “last hurrah”, hosting the all-white parties alongside Huddah. Can you imagine that? This lad had the choice of Huddah and Zari and he chose Zari!
And to make matters worse, he promptly impregnated and married Zari -make no mistake about it, under common law, they were legally married. Can you imagine that? And let none of you tell me you couldnae see where this union was headed or that you believed her story was one for the fairy tales.
But all that pales in comparison when you realize he is now tiffing with the mother of his children. The lad is actually airing all her dirty linen out in public. And at this point, I figure this is a teachable moment and I would be remiss not to take it and help young fathers out there.
Uncle Chim Tuna speaks
1. do not allow your child to be born in a foreign country where you are not a resident
Diamond would be facing an uphill, almost impossible task if he was trying to win custody of the children. He is not -if anything, he capitulated fast.
If you have a child born in a country you do not reside in, you will be fighting that nation’s government to just be allowed to see your child. Control the decision to have children (use condoms you yourself have brought) and for the love of God, be involved in the decision of where to have children.
2. do not air your dirty linen in public
Diamond made me proud of him by refusing to engage Zari when she was ranting and raving. He had gotten caught cheating. Though any logical person could see Zari’s story didn’t add up, it was awesome to see the level of restraint Diamond showed.
For him to come out now to address the issues in the way he did was actually very Machiavellian, they suck given Diamond is the father of Nilan and Tiffah.
3. only get children with a woman you have vetted for some time.
Who gets a woman he has known for all of 6 months pregnant? WHO?! And that is entirely on Diamond. Daft move.
Then to agree to lock yourself even further in the lie -especially now that he has admitted he didn’t want to be in that situation. Gaddamn!
Learn to vet your mate better because guess who the custodians of commitment are? Men!
4. if you have a falling out with your woman, do not leave the house and do not allow her to stay in your home -ask her to rent another place
Do not vacate the marital home. Your woman can use that to argue abandonment. And if you own the property (even if it one of many) do not agree to let her use it UNLESS you are ok with losing it.
If it gets down to it, ask her to go to her parents/ family/ friends.
5. if possible, sue for peace -find an amicable solution
This is the woman you chose to put your seed. She will be tasked by the state to take care of your children unless you can prove she is a completely unfit mother.
You would rather have an amicable relationship with her than have the children exposed to your animosity.
Then again, everyone has a right to an opinion MINE!