Ivy Wangeci is the talk of the town at the moment, for reasons that are just horrifying. The 6th year Moi University School of Medicine student was hacked to death yesterday in an incident that has shocked and angered the country.
Initial and unsubstantiated reports by close friends state that the crime was performed by an acquaintance who had stalked her relentlessly.
If it is true that she was murdered by a stalker, we at Mpasho.co.ke would like to help you our reader’s spot potential stalkers in your lives.
Signs that you might be dealing with a stalker:
-They contact you constantly. They might call you multiple times a day which may be confused with clinginess or interest. This behaviour can escalate to full-blown stalking if not checked.
-Obtaining personal details about yourself before you provided them.
-Monitoring you constantly, often excessively about your whereabouts.
According to one study, there are 5 types of stalkers. They are:
The rejected type- They pursue a former partner, wanting reconciliation or desiring revenge. They might have a criminal history of assault. These types are normally the most dangerous.
The intimacy seeker- They normally wants a relationship with their ‘true love’ while having no regard for their victim’s feelings, living in a fantasy world.
The incompetent type-This type knows that the victim is not interested and are normally of low IQ. They are socially awkward and normally make crude attempts at romantic gestures.
The resentful type-This one feels persecuted and wants retribution. They try to frighten and upset the victim and often have some sort of mental illness.
The predator-This type stalks and studies victim as they prepare their attack in advance. They might have a history of prior sexual attacks, often not giving warnings before attacks and are very dangerous.
Stalkers normally share certain characteristics. They can be:
Have obsessive personalities– Their over-riding thoughts are concerned with pursuing their victim.
Have delusional thoughts–They will see things that are totally illogical as a sign that the two of you are meant to be together.
Never take no for an answer-Even after being told rejected severally, the stalker will not believe that that is a sign of love and commitment.
Have above average intelligence–They use this to get close to their victims and keep tabs on them.
They suffer from low self-esteem–They are typically loners who long for a relationship that delivers a sense of worth.
Below are some rules to follow when dealing with someone you believe is a stalker:
–Have no contact with the stalker-After telling them a firm no, there should be no further contact.
–Tell other people-Let family and friends know so that they can provide evidence in court(if called upon) and not unwittingly give details to the stalker.
–Make sure you are safe-Routinely change the locks on your house, change your routine, only give out personal information to those your trust.