In 2013 former Mother-in-law actress Olive, whose real name is Idah Alisha tied the know with the love of her life.
The wedding was televised on Citizen TV’s Wedding Show programme.
Talking about her now ex-husband, Idah through her YouTube channel revealed that he was abusive.
I fell in love with this guy and he was Prince charming. If someone told me this guy was something, i’d probably get mad.
Her close friends would tell her she got married to a narcissist but she defended him.
He was great. The first year was fantastic and he started becoming abusive. The first time he slapped me I was like it must be this mouth (she said while pointing at her mouth). I must have said something reckless that made him angry and we make excuses like he doesn’t act like that. he said sorry and we moved on. I never told anyone especially because my life was in the limelight.
He stripped me of my confidence slowly by slowly. I would wear a dress and he would be like ‘where are you going dressed like that?’ He then would say ‘so you just gonna show your knees like that?’ Idah said,
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The man did not change. One day he became violent in the presence of her friends and it’s at that point when they believed her when said the man was abusive.
There was a time my friends had come over to my house and I told him we were going out and would be back early. When we came back he started asking where we had been despite the fact that we told him we were going out. My pals were spending the night over at our place and it ended up being violent.
He dragged me in front of my friends and was trying to throw me around and they witnessed this.
Things changed for the worst and Idah said,
There’s a time he even took over my finances. If I sent my mother money he would be angry and it would lead to an argument which turned into violence. I started getting anxiety attacks. Every time something happened i’d get panic attacks.
There was a scenario that happened in my life. I remember there was a time he was standing over me in the same position my dad stood over my mum. That’s when I told myself ‘this man is gonna kill me one day and that’s when I left.
She narrated how she prepared herself for work that morning, dressed up and took her handbag never to return again.
I walked out like I was going to work and never came back.
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He later went to her mother’s house to look to her. Idah said she tried seeking help from pastors she knew but nothing happened.
The amount of hypocrisy that’s in the church I can’t handle. I remember one time this pastor we were talking to hoping to solve our problem but he didn’t.
These pastors are human beings and can pick sides.
The actress tried to salvage her relationship but it didn’t work.
Well, in September 2015 Idah took to social media to auction her gown before leaving for Carolina, US, where she is currently based.
I WAS GOING TO TRASH MY DRESS … GO PAINT BALLING WITH IT TOMORROW BUT SOMEONE ASKED ME TO SELL IT INSTEAD.
FOR A MOMENT I REFUSED BUT … I THOUGHT OF HOW PRETTY I FELT IN IT AND HOW HAPPY I WAS TO FIND IT…
I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE THAT FEELING WITH ANOTHER SPECIAL BRIDE. SO WHOEVER CALLS AND GETS THIS GOWN … I CANT WAIT TO MEET AND ATLEAST SHARE A CUP OF COFFEE WITH YOU AS I LET GO OF ONE OF THE MOST EXPENSIVE THINGS I’VE EVER WORN. INFACT I THINK IT IS THE MOST EXPENSIVE. LOL … WISH YOU ALL THE BEST.
The two were from abusive families and after bonding, Aisha was convinced that they were going to bury their pasts and start a great family.
When dating, he told me his father was abusive but worse than mine.
Olive grew up in an abusive family, where the father used to beat her mother but one day, she decided to pack and leave.
I witnessed my dad being abusive to my mum. He was alcoholic to the point that he wouldn’t function without taking alcohol.
She highlighted that children from abusive relationships suffer a lot.
You see these things and you tell yourself that I’m not going to allow this to happen to me but it really does affect you unless you go through counseling.
Her advice to women out there in abusive relationships
When somebody is abusive just pack and leave. people are going to talk regardless, can you just help yourself.
Nothing changes in a violent relationship. It only gets worse. If you have kids in this relationship do them a favor and leave. Talk to them and let them understand what’s happening.
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Her story has touched many and reactions include;
Mulu Mercy: This is the reality in most relationships nowadays. Glad you’ve shared this. A sis somewhere has been helped.
Anne Nganga: I dated a Narcissist for 2 years and everything you said resonates with me. And especially their behavior around other people they are like angels around friends and family. And for anyone going through this trust me just leave it might be hard at first but healing starts when you leave.
Birisha Sayi: I was in an abusive relationship and I am a happy girl I left, I literally feared for my life. I remember one time I shared with my male cousin and he said to me “take care of yourself coz an insecure man is a dangerous man” N OMG it was so true. Dude would show up at my place at midnight without telling me🙆. He would call me 200 times a day, he would decide what I wear and who to meet, no Makeup for this girl. Yaaani I lived a boring ass life but look at me now living with no regrets. Thank God🙌🙌
Judie M: Same story here, I was forcefully married at 19, got a baby at 21 and left at 23, he had turned me to a drum, he’d beat me up in front of his sister and my friends. He’d cheat right left and centre and make it my fault. Couldn’t go back home since my folks believed I’m the bad one, he had ruined my image. Long story short, 10 months ago, I knocked at the door and when he opened he asked me, “to whose house are you coming at this time?” it was 7pm. I looked at him and I got fed up, I left at that moment and never looked back. Since then I have known peace. I stay with my baby and we good,I thank God I walked away, best decision ever.
Yvonne Mithya: A divorced daughter is better than a dead daughter! When will the society ever understand this!!! Don’t stay in a violent r/shp coz of kids everyone has their own life!!! Girls love urself too much, be selfish.
Nduku Kitheka: Thank you so much Idah for giving me confidence that violence shouldn’t be okay in relationships. Mine was marriage and I really tried my best so that my daughter can have a Dad and a full family… But when he beat me in front of her was so painful…she would later come to wipe my tears and I would hurt more. It stripped me of my self esteem, family, friendships but I am picking up myself with time. Hee, sema Pastors and church…they are the first to point fingers especially hiyo part ya ‘you ain’t submissive enough’…cheii!! okay for now Idah, am so much at peace and I know with time, I will be more strong.Thanks so much girl.