On this one I am strictly talking to the lads. The ladies can please exit stage left!
A colleague of mine, Harun be his name, has approached his hallowed Uncle for advice to a rather testy topic... You see, a lass he is interested in seems to be exhibit a basic PH and that has him second guessing whether or not he should pursue her.
You see, no man wants to spend all his money only to realize it would have been cheaper to buy a sack of potatoes and start a street chips vending business!
And so I reached out to him and sat him down so he could learn from me how to avoid making such a mortal mistake in this era of smartphones and gadgetry! So take a seat young nephew and learn a thing or two!
#1. Check her Instagram account
If she posts photos of herself or her friends enjoying expensive trips &/or expensive dinners yet she has no explainable means of income, run!
If she is always on IG trying to impress everyone with photos of how well she is doing yet she lives in an servants quarter in Lang'ata or in some such hovel in Kariobangi, run!
She is a basic sack of potatoes who will make your financial future bleak! Infact, the longer you consider her, the more you are dropping IQ points!
#2. Fake accent
If she sounds like a Kenyan radio presenter yet like most Kenyan radio presenters she studied at a Kenyan public school, run! Speaking of which, why do people think American accents are the only way to connect to the audience? Does the Kenyan king of radio Maina Kageni have a fake accent yet he studied in Britain before dropping out?
Avoid her like ebola! She is as basic as half a torn sack of sweet potatoes!
#3. Send "Call me back" messages
Hoi! But even you my friend! Kwani you went to look for this lass at the Kayole matatu stage?
If you have landed such a lass, chances are you are as ratchet as she is! This one is basic to a painful degree! Unless you want to date debts, do not even think of dating this breed of lasses! That is ofcourse unless you are one of those who do not mind being sponsors.
And just incase you have already taken her out and spent some money on her, here are some signs to look out for:
#4. She says she doesn't dance
This one is a waste of time and money. Do not repeat the same mistake unless you're into self flagellation!
How can you take a lass out to paint the town red and she refuses to cut some rag? It doesn't matter if she has two left feet. If she refuses to dance she is wasting your time! What kind of insecurities can inform such refusal?
#5. She was on her phone the entire time
You my friend are dating a teenager. Pay for your bill and walk out. If you are asking this in retrospect, go out and buy kerosene, pour it liberally on your phone and light it up. Walk away feeling nothing!
Lady found to have 'love sickness' after calling bf 100 times a day