“De minimis non curat lex…”

This is a term we have learnt thanks to the Kenyan election petition.

1. Form 34 B everything ...including when WhatsApp messages are received. We should be able to take people to court and demand WhatsApp for form 34 B. “Your honor…. I didn’t blue tick her when she said she was pregnant…. Hata ndio hii form 34 B”

2. “The system has been hacked…. I have an IT expert”. When anything goes wrong in your life, just say that you were hacked. “Haki huyo msichana amekataa kuingia box…. Kuna mwanaume mwingine amehack messages nilituma kwake”

3. If you are losing an argument, resort to using complicated English with your JKIA accent.

Her “Why are you talking to other girls?”

Me: “The jurisprudence with which the petitioner trioxidated the submission is gastrocnemus”

4. “Invalid….Null and void….. compromised”. When you lose, you don’t recognize their new partner and you want another chance and a re-election in 60 days

5. “Learned friend……” That friend of yours you call to defend you when you have messed up in your relationship. “Speak to nanii…. We were with them.”

6. “Swearing in….”. How you ask for a hand in marriage.

7. “Tibim... Tano tena” How you now say “I love you”

8. Men will now start demanding to be addressed as “My lord” in the house.

“My lord… Kagitheri kameiva... lakini hakuna avocado…”

Happy nullified election day Kenyans. It's never that serious!!