It's good to have friends. And as Elbert Hubbard said, “A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” After all, we don't mind letting people know every little thing about ourselves, do we?

The journey of making friends commences that morning when you wake up either dull or euphoric, depending on what your parents told you about school. You meet these many strange people that you're going to be forced to be friends with because there's no alternative, after all, you'll be on this journey with these strange, bothersome human beings for the rest of your life.

Since you had no option, and I had no choice either, we became friends because we share common interests or maybe I'm just trying to find out how you can be of value to me based on my interest. So there we go: cheers to the freaking weekend! A lit night out with friends would be a perfect thing to do.  Or Nah?

"Damn bruv! Last night was lit! Lit! Lit! *insert three fire emojis* We should come up with a plan fam. Ka house party hivi. You can come with your friends but sio watu wa vinyasa..." It starts with texts like these. Honestly, you enjoyed the night, and you'd wish to do it over and over again. Lighting the city up and painting the town red eerryday! #InstaFun #NoNewFriends    

After a few beer bottles with both real and bogus stories, things start becoming serious. "F**k! She lied to me; that's not where she bought that dress hehe." Some lady texted her friend because she feels her friend lied about something.

Harun: " Wah! Kev is a f***boy; that homie didn't even tell me that you guys had a party manze!

Peter: Lol 

The following weekend, Harun, Kev, and Peter are out drinking together again cracking jokes about their other friends and bantering why Harun wasn't informed about the party. Here we are again, let's take this friendship to the higher levels. Some even google ways to show you're a good friend.' I saw this when I was trying to find out these knavish ways of getting people hooked into our selfish interests. Sometimes they work, and there are those who actually end up being 'true friends'.

It's good to check up on your buddies. I mean, it's one of the tricks of showing how 'that you're a real friend to the other person. So, good morning texts to the other person even when you don't mean it would help make the friendship last longer. Aye? Just don't get to the extent of trying to find out what color my previous night's poop was. Tuheshimiane tafadhali!

Just when I'd decided to write this article, a good friend of mine called my phone, and guess what the good news was, "Kuna movie nilikua nataka nikirudi nirudi nayo can you download it for me nikikuja ni transfer kwa phone?" I honestly wouldn't mind downloading whatever movie he wanted. Thanks to writing about Huddah and Vera Sidika I have a fast internet but...

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Hey! Let's not get distracted not get distracted with the stupid banters and nude pictures posted by these ladies. We're still talking about why snobbing is becoming a fashionable thing.

Trouble starts when we begin to realize that you were being used. Actually, the right word is 'misused'.  "I can't believe you did this to me, I trusted you, I treated you like my blood, you told me how you'll love me till death do us apart, you promised." This is how great fake stories end. Painful right? Nah, we're too gangster for emotions.

Hearts broken, several friends gone. That means we'll be making fewer calls and telling less lies. Apparently when you experience something is when you learn better. Enyewe Fred Matiang'i and his people need to work on that Curriculum reform ASAP.

Our politicians also play this stupid friendship games with us every freaking day! They're not real with us, and the funny thing is that we actually know that they are bullsh***ing us but huh, someone else should give a f**k, meanwhile let's jump on a hashtag to show those who care that we kinda give a f**k too.

@Juma76 - How could Njoroge steal all those millions? Wah! Our leaders are so corrupt! #TunahamaKenya

@Omondi69 - These Kikuyus are thieves! "How could Njoroge steal all those millions? Wah! Our leaders are so corrupt! #TunahamaKenya."

So here's what you don't know about @Omondi69, for three months he's been hitting on a beautiful Kikuyu lass. Probably he's lied to her how he's been saving to buy a Sh40 million Maybach Benz in two years. Also, most of his 'friends' are actually Kikuyu's.  Does this mean that all his Kikuyu friends are thieves?

The moment you realize that many people out here are professional liars, is when you start being a snob. Yes, you texted me last night at 8.53PM, and I replied the next morning at 8:53 AM. With time, we all get fed up with these vexatious lies. Many will just keep quiet about it, but those who want the friendship to go further and longer will be real. And just because I'll be real with you doesn't mean you should start asking me about the color of my poop. Meanwhile, snobbing is becoming cool because many people can't stand liars anymore. So next time your friend ignores you at an event or replies to your text 37 hours later, just know that their's a problem somewhere.

Let me know what you think on the comment section below.