You have seen celebrities break up and get back together again and then break up and still get back together again for the umpteenth time.
Most time the breakups are very vicious and vitriol is spewed from the feuding couple. All this is played out in the full glare of the public eyes.
Take for example the case of Diamond and Hamisa.
They hurl insults at each other and the world concludes that the two will never see eye to eye, ever again.
But alas and behold, Hamisa and diamond are chummy and she is even styling him for various high profile events.
One would conclude that the love-hate-love relationship could be due to a trauma bond.
After all one of Diamond’s exes, Tanasha Donna branded him a narcissist.
Here are signs that Diamond’s relationships with his baby mamas was super toxic. we may have treated it as ‘kiki’ but at the core of it all, it was very dysfunctional.
You find yourself apologizing for mistakes that are not your own.
Hamisa made fun of the fact that she took Diamond to court for child support. While she had all the right in the world to get Diamond to handle his bizniz as a father, she made light of that.
You feel a strong powerful bond that most times stops you seeing the actual person’s behaviour.
Tanasha Donna was warned by netizens that dating Diamond was pure trouble. She did not listen, and Diamond showered her with love and the couple welcomed their child. Before the tot was even 7 months old, the relationship was over.
You see their best intentions and do not recognize the harm to you.
Tanasha defended Diamond all through her relationship only for the star to turn around and break her heart.
You hold onto the hope they can change, no matter what they’ve done to you.
All the women in Diamond’s life from Zari Hassan, Wema Sepetu, Hamisa and Tanasha all hoped that he would change. They put up with many incidences that they later exposed after the breakup.
Here are other signs that could indicate your relationship is held together due to a trauma bond.
1. When people point out that there is something wrong with how you are being treated by your bae, you deny or justify the abuse as being your fault, as though you deserved it.
2. You get so used to being abused that you do not believe the threats, you think they’re just venting their frustration.
3. The trauma bond messes with you to a point where you crave the cruelty of the abuse. You see it as signs of love.
4. You find yourself planning and plotting on how you can fix your partner or make them change.
5. You make excuses for your partner and placate their anger.
6. You lose yourself. From expressing yourself, your needs and wants to avoid conflict with your partner. You just exist.
7. You convince yourself that they are the only ones who love you so you listen to
8. You will be good and comply to feel loved and avoid being discarded or punished.
9. You eventually submit out of fear.
10. You fear leaving will escalate the abuse.