What The Hell Is Celebrity Malaria? Well, Malawians Seem To Believe It's The Disease Zambia's President Has!

Piece by: Uncle Chim Tuna
Lifestyle

I came across a tweet that was doing rounds online and decided to look into it because the implications of what it stated could be far reaching:

You see, the newly elected Zambian president collapsed recently and his physicians advised him to seek specialized treatment in South Africa. According to their Malawian neighbours, this was all down to a new pathogen that causes celebrity malaria and fatigue.

But what I found -when I looked into the matter- sadly, was a rational explanation; the person that sent out that tweet is an idiot.

Why? Well, because medical tests carried out on Lungu at a military hospital in the capital Lusaka had ruled out malaria as earlier suspected. President Lungu was then advised by doctors to undergo specialist treatment abroad to correct a narrowing of the food pipe which caused him to fall ill over the weekend.

Booo! I was hoping I could call in sick tomorrow as I had also contracted celebrity malaria... Idiot! Now I instead have to contract cerebral malaria which is not fun at all!