Valentines Day
Valentines Day

Every February, millions of couples celebrate a special day in their lives. A day of love. Valentine’s day. A typical valentine’s day is as predictable as Christmas. There are millions of “Babe, I have a surprise for you” texts. There are many pre-valentines break ups. There are couples who wear red. There is spending on chocolates, bracelets and lingerie and many babies will be conceived.

In fact, I will dare to say that Valentines is such a boring day.

This has been my valentine’s routine over the years, and it hasn’t changed. It has just been enhanced a bit.

February 10th: Panic mode – I have no idea what ill do for valentines. In fact, I’m skimming through the various valentines offers presented by entrepreneurs. They include dinners, nights for 2, chocolates, phones, gift vouchers.

February 11th: First consultation – This is where I usually ask my friends “What are you doing for valentines this year?”. The great thing about consultation is that you get great ideas and advice. You get to answer questions like “How long have you guys seen each other? What did you get for them last year? Are you guys dating or in a situationship?”

February 12th: Decision time – Now you have a clear answer of what you want and what you can afford. You know what you will do that will be different from last year. You have chosen a restaurant, the chocolates and she probably already knows what red dress she is going to wear. In fact, she is getting that manicure and hairstylist appointment. Pressure

February 13th: Action day – You have picked the chocolates. You also have an outfit ready plus you bought a special red underwear and condoms. Yes, most valentines day dates end up in sex. This is the day you send that “I have a surprise for you tomorrow” text. You already have a nduthi guy who will deliver flowers to her workplace to the envy of her office husband. You have calculated the valentines budget based on how much money you will need to survive for the rest of the month.

February 14th: The usual – “Oh my gosh…. I am so surprised” she says as you usher her in to the fancy establishment. Your expensive meal is accompanied by champagne. “Oh baby, I had a lovely time”. You sit there thinking about the number of times you have heard that statement. What matters is that she is happy and will have a great experience, hopefully one that will eclipse those that her friends had.

February 15th: Back to reality – You open up your usual gift of boxers, a tie and cuff links. You have had the same gifts for years. “At least she tries” you console yourself. You wish you had bought plastic roses because the red roses you bought from Kenyatta avenue have started dying… just like your predictable love on Valentine’s day.