Faking an orgasm in order to please your partner, rather than yourself, has long been considered a bad thing.
But what if ‘simulating’ could actually help turn you on and be worthwhile?
The team of experts at Smilemakers said that nearly six out of 10 women admit to faking it at least once in their lives, with nearly one in 10 always doing it.
But what is the point of simulating? Can it be beneficial for the couple? Or on the contrary damaging to the relationship and your sex life? In reality, it depends on the context and intent.
‘Slightly amplifying the effect of caresses, kisses and strokes by moaning a little louder, or by accelerating your breathing can become an unspoken language to guide your partner,’ the experts wrote in a blog post.
‘Being more expressive can give them valuable insights into what you like, without having to put words in it. And icing on the cake, it also puts you in the mood: making your sexual response more vocal puts you in an erotic mode, and therefore increases your arousal. And that of your partner.’
But while ‘simulating’ can be considered a good thing, not upsetting your partner can come at the cost of your own pleasure
‘You send the wrong message to your partner and make them believe that what they are doing is pleasing you,’ they said.
‘As a result, they cannot realize that perhaps you would like for them to move differently, to touch you differently, or that you would have needed more foreplay before penetration.
‘Communicating about what you like and what you don’t, with honesty, remains essential in an intimate relationship, and simulating can clearly blur sexual communication.’
It’s a similar issue if you’re looking to just ‘get it over with’ in the bedroom.
‘It is true that it is not always easy to talk about it, and that the fear of hurting the other person sometimes keeps us from saying things frankly,’ they explained.
‘Yet speaking the truth is the best way for those moments to be moments of shared intimacy and pleasure for both of you, and not moments you are just waiting to pass.’