Captain Kale

Controversial Kenyan man Captain Kale, who’s well known among Classic 105 fans has lashed out at slay queens, saying they aren’t wives.

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He has shared his definition of a wife material and below is what he thinks.

1. Wash and iron my clothes them. She should be updating my wardrobe once in a while

2. Should prepare my meals, I can’t take food prepared by the housegirl, and she should wait for me till I arrive so that we eat together, hata kama ni 4am, and my food should be warm and it can be in a hotpot neither can it be warmed by a microwave. And hata kama sitakula, food must be there.

And open for me the gate when I arrive, I can’t call her, I’ll just text her. And she shouldn’t call me not unless there’s an emergency, and even with that emergency, she texts first then I give her a go ahead to call.

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3. Should give me money when I want, at the end of the day her money is mine because I married her, I paid for my dowry, so, what she owns, is mine, she’s my property. In fact, when she gets her salary at the end of the month, she puts all of it on the table, I can as well have her ATM. Even her phone is mine, I can decide that today, I’ll stay with her phone the whole day, and it is so.

4. Should provide for the family through me, when I’m low financially, i.e she gives me the money to sort the bills, no no no, wait, she doesn’t give me, I take it, remember what she has, is mine.

5. Not accompany me to places like clubs. NEVER. We’ll hang out in burials, weddings, upcountry during Christmas holidays, ruracios, fundraisers. And going for an out ends when she gets into my roof. Her out is spending with the kids, cleaning utensils, clothes and the house.

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‘Stop dressing like firefighters when you go to bed, give us easy access to “servers!” Captain Kale tells married women

6. Never bring any of her relatives into my house without my permission. She’s under my name, she came to my family, so she belongs to my family. Infact, she should never allow any of her family members into my house, even if it is her mother, and if they have to come, she should tell me like a month earlier so that I decide.

About my parents, friends, relatives, they can come anytime, and she has to cook for them, they can even sleep in my house as long as they wish, especially my mother.

After getting married, she cuts ties with her friends too, not her family only.

And she can’t go to their home without telling me, and she should say some months before.

Are you serious meme
Are you serious meme. photo credit: memecrunch

7. She gets pregnant when I say it is so. So even if I want 20 children, she has to do her mathematics on the space of the children. And if she gets pregnant without my permission, she goes back to her parents.

Even s3x, yes s3x is when I want, no arguing, no discussion. When I want it, is when it will happen, don’t come asking for s3x, are you a prostitute or a wife?

8. When I come back to my house, even if it is after 2weeks, never ask me where I was, where I’m coming from. Who is she anyway? She’s part of my kids, right? That’s why when someone sends me to say hi to my family, they tell me, say hi to the kids, not the wife and the kids, so, the wife falls under the kids’ category.

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9. When she wants something, she writes a note then leaves it on the table. We can’t converse about it, I’ll go through it, then decide if I’ll fulfill the needs or not.

10. Last but not least. I being the king, she does as I say, no arguing, no raising of voices, she’s there to be seen not to be heard. And I’ll be disciplining her and making her toe the line once in a while, a slap will not miss in that list.

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