Kenya is one of the greatest nations in the world. It is among the most religious countries worldwide evidence of which is the numerous denominations dotted around the city.

Every day we see more and more churches mushroom in every corner of the country. Some of the churches are flashy, built using billions while others are just simple, made from mabati but all in all, they serve one purpose.

But that aside, let’s talk about the Christians or rather those who go to these churches…

Some of them go to church for general reasons while others go for show off, to distract the congregation, cause havoc and the rest for reasons only known to themselves.

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Well, from sleeping to picking  phone calls in the church to even twerking, here are the weirdest habits of Kenyans in churches go through

  1. Picking up phone calls

This is common amongst Kenyans who go to church and will pick up calls while in church, even when the sermon is ongoing. Why distract other worshippers? No one wants to know that  Atieno has your debt and she has refused to pay or Mose is back from States and you have to turn up. Keep your cellphone on silent mode or switch it off to avoid distracting others. In fact, pastors should set rules and regulations including not carrying phones to church.

2. Shouting

There is a bunch of churchgoers who always shout in church whenever the pastor says anything whether it makes sense or not. They will shout a big Halleluhya or Amen so that the rest of the congregants can know that they are more attentive and alert than everyone. Save that energy for something else. If some people were this attentive back in school, they would probably be bishops and reverends right now.

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3. Wearing high heels and coming to church late

We have all seen these in our churches. Some women wear high heels, come late to church and always catwalk – like newly born calves – to the front when the sermon is ongoing hence distracting the congregation. Dear ladies, if you like the front spot, always go to church earlier before the service and book yourself that front seat. Sit and wait for the sermon to start and stop walking around so as to get noticed. Church is the place for worship and not a runway!

4. Polluting the air

Please if you know you ate njahi the previous day, do not step into a church. Stay at your house and follow the service from your living room. Do not go to church to ‘torture’ other people. Those who ‘spoil’ the air make congregants uncomfortable hence making it hard for them to concentrate. Please watu wa tabia kama hizi wacheni!

5. Twerking

The church is a holy place and the Most High’s dwelling place for heaven’s sake. Behave like a true Christian and do what the rest do. Of late, young teenagers have turned the church into Sodom and Gomorrah and will twerk to gospel songs just to show the world that they can shake their tiny behinds. If you can’t dance the normal missionary choir style, please sit down and let the rest praise the Lord in peace. Do not cause unnecessary attention in church. Perform your satanic behaviours somewhere else, not in church.

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6. Stealing

Some people are just professional thieves. They will steal from the churchgoers and even from the offering basket. From stealing the bibles to hymn books, such people are just cursed. You will never be blessed if you still steal from the church.

7. Sleeping

Why would one leave his house to go to sleep in a church? If you are not ready for church, please stay at home. This is most common among men who often sleep in the church especially during the sermon. Next time, do not embarrass your wife and children. Stay home and enjoy your sleep.

8. Skimpy clothing

The church is not a night club where you are going to show off your thunder thighs. Some women are so ill-mannered; they dress in short, revealing outfits then sit at the front benches where they can spread their legs so as to be seen by pastors. Please the Jezebels of this generation, do not lead us into hell. Mshindwe!

9. Leaving church during offering time

This is common among Kenyans. They will sing and dance during the praise and worship session but when it comes to offering time, most of them walk away. Why go to church in the first place then?

10. Ohh and eating in the church also.

The church is not a restaurant for heaven’s sake! It’s a place of worship!

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