A file photo of NASA flag bearer Raila Odinga and President Uhuru Kenyatta.
A file photo of NASA flag bearer Raila Odinga and President Uhuru Kenyatta.

After yesterday’s supreme ruling that upheld the election results, things can start going back to normal and now the real test awaits all of us. What are some of the things we used the elections for as an excuse?

  1. Answering the “What are we” question. Wololo, now there is no excuse. I pity you if you are taking her for a December baecation and have her birthday in January. Not to mention valentines on February. Nikusota kusota sasa
  2. All the postponed debts. This was a good period to not pay debts but its over. Hio deni italipwa. That rent, that loan, the kibanda bill….. wololo… ni kunoma
  3. Going to the gym. If you are like me, you used the excuse of “Kwanini niende jogging na kuna teargas Monday”. Now you have no external motivation to jog
  4. Getting to work early.

Boss: Why are you late?

Me: There was traffic. You know hizi elections zimefanya watu waogope…… I’ll start coming early after elections

Boss: Oh okay. I’m giving you a promotion

  1. Blaming the economy. We all have this habit of blaming everything on the economy. “Kwanini hajareply text yangu?” “Labda ni hii economy. Wadem pia husota bro. Ngoja hizi elections ziishe alafu economy itarecover”
  2. Finally pursuing your new year’s resolutions. Okay, we have all failed but we still have time. To be fair, these elections were unpredictable. Let us stop procrastinating… tomorrow.
  3. Obsession with avocado. Just like many of you, im addicted to avocado. I eat avocado with anything. Avocado with ugali, Avocado with tropical (Ule msee wa ‘tatu tano’ kwa matatu akikuja, mi husema “Uko na ova pia?”, Avocado with mineral water, Small avocado with big avocado… etc. Now that elections zimeisha, I have stopped obsessing about avocado.
MPASHO TV