Today’s the 91st day of Njaanuary. What a long one it’s been. This whole month, most people’s social media captions have been inspirational. “Cut off negative friends, new month new me, self care, hydrate and moisturize, lose weight”. You get the drift.
Okay friends, let’s be honest. Majority of these are lies. Halafu pia, kusota ni mbaya na tusikimbie reality.
As Njaanuary comes to an end, normal programming has been resumed. The New Year’s resolutions have already been resolved. What things will we get back to doing as Nairobians? Perhaps I can speak for myself so that you don’t fell like I’m speaking about you.
- Getting back to posting food pics at hotels on Instagram. Out with the inspirational quotes. Also, food with avocado and applied filters will be back in fashion.
- I’m getting back to texting girls “Hey sweetie?” …and that’s because I can finally afford dates and I’m not afraid of the dreaded Valentine’s budget.
- I can finally stop working overtime to get more money. Hio ilikuwa mateso bana. Njaanuary was real
- No more strungi and KDF for breakfast. The now infamous block mandazi was popular in Njaanuary because of it’s price. Hizo KDF zimeshikilia tumbo za watu wengi lakini. Maybe I’ll have them again in 12 or so months.
- Hot showers are back. Hii mambo ya kuogopa tokens kuisha ilikuwa noma bana. I was a star at leaving the bucket outside to be heated by the sun and then bathe at 5.45PM when the water was warm.
- No more nduthis and matatu …because I can finally fuel my car
- I can watch Youtube again videos when not using office wi-fi. Hio budget ya bundles ni noma
- Sportpesa MegaJackpot. I’m back on line with my WiFi so I’ll be doing research like all other Nairobians. I’m gonna be playing hard. Mind you, the jackpot is currently at KSH 230,742,881 – the BIGGEST it’s ever been and the largest gaming jackpot ever in East and Central Africa. If Samuel Abisai did it, so can I
- I’m re-installing Instagram. It’s officially the worst app to use when you’re broke. Now that I’ve got some cheddar.
What other things will Nairobians be doing?