Sponsors have become a necessity in the lives of Kenyan women. You are not a complete woman if you don't have a sponsor! You have no say before your friends if you are "sponsorless". You need one, two or even ten and you will fit into that peer group. When your pals start bragging about how Mr. Onyango the engineer, Mr. Kamau the farmer, Mr. Kerich the wheat farmer or the 86-year-old Mzungu gave her Sh100,000 to furnish her bedsitter and how she spent the whole weekend in Zanzibar, mami, you also have to be on top of the game and tell them how that sponsor of yours treated you so that they can rate you whether ako down or not.

Well, recently, I wrote an article on the types of women Kenyan sponsors like and I received a lot of feedback on that story. Some comments were pretty cool but others were so funny, I died of laughter. Even as I'm writing this, I'm almost on the floor.

"Hapo umesema ukweli, I once sponsored a chic who stayed in Umoja. All I could do was visit her smash then namuwachia 10k ajisort the whole month..." This comment by a Facebook pal almost broke my ribs.

Anyway, all that said and done, today I would like to talk about what really makes a good sponsor or rather the qualities of a sponsor. With the help of my colleagues, here are the 8 qualities or ways of spotting a good Kenyan sponsor of a Kenyan sponsor, go through and comment at the end of the article.

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1. Physical appearance

You can easily tell one is a potential sponsor from their physical appearance. Most sponsors are members of the vitambi battalion. You can easily spot a sponsor from far; most of the times, they are the men with pot bellies. No sponsor will spend time in the gym trying to work out, kitambi is what defines him. Akienda gym "sponsoree" atasugua nini? They like it when young girls touch and caress the pot belly while on the dance floor.

Also read: Usipoteze Wakati

2. Wealth

By this I mean the type of cars he drives and the kind of houses he lives in. No make that, owns. When you meet a man and the first car you see him riding in is an expensive machine; Range Rover, Mercedes Benz, BMW, Volvo, Porsche, Bently, Ferrari, Cadillac etc you can easily tell that this guy is a potential sponsor. Also if he lives in the city suburb areas he is likely to be a sponsor and by this I don't mean one who stays in a bedsitter or one bedroom apartment in Kileleshwa! One who stays in houses that go for more then Sh200,000 rent a month.

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3.  Generosity

Weuh! This is how to spot a sponsor. He will buy you expensive drinks plus your twenty pals and pay for the bill without even feeling a pinch. That Ali Kiba song, Aje, explains this scenario. He will take you and your "army" to B-Club buy expensive champagne and you can go ahead and wash your smelly weaves with it. A good sponsor is one who is generous; he will do anything for his girl and won't question the way she uses the money he dishes out.

4. Posts photos of his newly acquired wealth on social media

Sponsors are not male socialites. They rarely have a huge following on social media especially Instagram. Most of them have followers ranging between 50 - 300 but he follows thousands of people on Instagram. And the serious sponsors are not on social media at all. And if they are someone is running the accounts for them. Anytime they purchase new property, they will post the photos on social media just to give their followers a glimpse of flashy lifestyles. They rarely post pictures and when they do it's once in a while but do not accompany the photos with a million hashtags trying to pass across a simple message. They post because, they can, not to impress but because they are actually living the life.

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5. Dress code

Sponsors do not dress to kill like Ben 10's. They buy expensive, quality clothes but not as appealing when they wear them, pot belly manenos and all. Some of them spend money on bespoke suits or shop in Dubai or France yaani couture. Some dress in very expensive outfits from head to toe but they don't know how to match then stylishly, they end up looking like scarecrows and Christmas trees. But bora pesa.

6. Type of clubs they go to

Sponsors never go to ratchet clubs. They don't attend clubs where Ben 10's flood. They go out to expensive clubs where they are sure poor people can't afford. He will take you to Caramel, buy you expensive sh*t - like top shelf sh*t - and will foot the bill. Sponsors never run away with bills, they pay without a problem. Woe unto you if you have a man who runs away with restaurant bills. Huyo sio sponsor!

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7. Give women a lot of cash

A good sponsor will give you money even without asking. Sponsors love clean, trendy, smart women and that's why they always send them money without asking. Na si pesa kidogo. They then start demanding for accountability. Dear women, if you have a "sponsor" who gives you peanuts then later demand accountability. Wachana naye! That's not a sponsor! Huyo amesota. Join my club, team singles and you will never regret.:-)

8. Music

Sponsors love a specific type of music. You will never find them in local bars or clubs where ratchetry is the order of the day or a place where loud music is played. He will take you to Caramel, Panari, Kempinski or any other high-end bar or club that plays soft and soothing music. They have no time and energy to grind on you or dance as if they are shooting a Jamaican video. If your sponsor takes you to the likes of Tribeka, Mojos dump him! That's not a sponsor but a Team Mafisi member. All he needs is attention.