4. You don’t judge

Being able to calmly listen to what your partner wants and needs sexually without having a knee-jerk reaction or taking it personally (‘What’s wrong with the sex we have now? Are you bored of me?) is hugely important.

Even if you admit you aren’t interested in trying any of what they suggest, the very fact that they can ask, knowing you won’t judge them or make a fuss, is an enormously positive factor for most people.

5. You’re open to trying new things

Routine is comforting for lots of people and sex is no exception.

But while being in a routine is a bonus for making you stick to going to the gym, it’s the kiss of death in the bedroom.

The main reason why people don’t try new things isn’t because they’re worried they won’t like it, it’s because they’re nervous they’ll look foolish or won’t be good at it.

Obviously, you are justified saying no to certain experiences but having a sense of fun and a ‘Why not?’ attitude is crucial to having satisfying, enjoyable sex.

6. You’re able to talk about sex without embarrassment

If you only put one tick in the box, this is by far the most important.

It’s something we hear time and time again – that couples should talk about sex – but it’s also something surprisingly few couples do.

Yes, body language and moans can help steer your partner in the right direction but for anything more complicated you have to use words.

Be as specific as you possibly can be when talking about sex.

Anyone who has ever done ‘The Cube’ mind exercise knows even though we think everyone thinks the same, we all visualise very different things even for mundane objects.

(The Cube asks you to describe simple things like a horse, flowers, a cube and a desert: most people are shocked to find how varied and individual our imaginations really are.)

It’s the same with sex.

Your idea of ‘fast’ or ‘soft’ may not be their idea of it so always show and tell, if possible.

As a rule of thumb, to avoid offending (and ruining the sex you’re having at the time), give only positive feedback during sex and any negative feedback afterward.

Sex is a sensitive subject for pretty much everyone, so make sure any criticism you do give is done with affection, sensitivity, and tact.

7. You’re not self-conscious

Looking attractive and having a great body will get you attention, compliments and lots of ‘likes’.

But having confidence and feeling sexy is much more important than having supermodel good looks and a ‘perfect’ bod.

What is a perfect body anyway?

Some men love Kim Kardashian size buttocks, others are repulsed; some women love big muscles on men, others think they look ridiculous.

Yes, you’ve heard it before (many, many, many times), this time, believe it: confidence is what’s sexy.

Having sex with the light on and on top of the covers with an average body is going to get you a lot further than looking like Gigi, clutching the covers up to your chin and wanting complete darkness.

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