Man, sometimes what you hear in pubs is nothing short of shocking! Liquid courage, is indeed a lubricant for tongues. And as they say, loose lips sink ships -a saying I really love.
Anyway, I was in a local pub this past weekend -the first time in a long time. Why you ask? Because my friends were around. For the first time in 3 months, all my friends were in Nairobi so we decided to party small small.
I arrived alittle late because I was editing stories which consumed the better part of my day well into the afternoon. So when I finally arrived, the entire team was assembled.
The drinking was mature but the drinks did indeed flow as did the conversation. We were happy to be catching up with each other. After a while however, one of the homies asked that we move things to a more secluded and less noisy section of the club. I was excited. This all seemed conspiratory.
We obliged him and moved to a different booth. That was when he decided to open up. And it was the juiciest morsel of chit chat I have had in a long while!
So my homie, shall we call him Joe? Anyway, so my homie Joe opened up or as Kenyans say, “Alifungua roho“. He didn’t dilly dally about dropping the bombs right away,
He has impregnated his mother in-law.
Yeah, my homie has been sleeping with his mother in-law and he impregnated her. Let that sink in.
Everyone else in the group fell silent. Except me. I burst out laughing. The dirty looks that were shot my way would have you forgiven for thinking I was the dirty adulterer. I digress.
We all knew why he was sleeping with her. His mother in-law is hot. I am talking super hot. She is one of those lasses who marry a wealthier guy young and are set for life. But life soon went stale.
You see, she has everything she needs or could ever want. Her husband is one of those old Kikuyu men who make no excuses for being tribal chauvinists. Her daughters are all hot spoilt princesses. Life is good but it’s boring.
And so when Joe married his blushing bride, we were all happy for him. He had married into proper wealth. We would all be sorted for soft loans.
Anyway, Joe and his mother in-law hit it off right away. She seemed to really like him and could see something in him her husband couldn’t. In hindsight, it was clearly matters coitus.
Anyway, things got heavy, and things got thick. And one thing led to another and they started sleeping together. The first time it happened, his wife (her daughter) was in the house sick with the case of food poisoning.
And after a while, Joe found out he was going to be having a baby by his mother in-law. So now he is having a child by her before he and his wife have a child… And get this, his mother in-law doesn’t want to end things.
Meanwhile, he’s busy trying to convince her to procure an abortion.