Felicity Shiru and Marya Okoth, the wives of content creators Thee Pluto and Comedian YY are speaking out about the realities of marriage.
The two ladies held a discussion of their expectations versus what actually goes down in their respective relationships on Shiru's YouTube channel.
They spoke about wanting a soap opera type of romance. They described their men as being high voltage men, 'not lovey-dovey all the time, but who want to see their women grow'.
The biggest for them was romantic dates, and being showered with love. Marya said; "Not that I don't go out on romantic dates, I go out on a lot of dates, but hizo zangu zinakuanga tunakula wapi? Tuingie hapa."
Felicity asked Marya if she meant they are not romantic to which Marya replied; "You know it's the same thing with romantic dates whether it has flowers or .. it's the same thing your spending time, unless its a special day ndio unataka flowers but yenye na expect ni tunaweka simu kando, tunaangaliana..."
The reality is that they expect their man to ask them on a date romantically. Marya then described how YY asks her on a date.
"Umemaliza shot? Uko tao? Haya si tuingie hapa and I count that as a date because ukiwa na expectations ya I don't count that as a date, that is a date to him."
Marya's realization from this is rather than piling pressure on your man by comparing your relationship with others, she said.
"Don't ask for love, take it. If you want to feel like you are being taken out on a date, take it. A man who wants to keep you will make an effort."
Felicity said, "Our expectations are like soap operas," with Marya agreeing.
Felicity said before moving in that love was extra. "Let me talk about before moving in and afterwards. So before I think it was a little bit extra coz pia hamkuwa mnaonana everyday so mkionana mko all over each other, so after moving in and also having a kid, hauexpect ati kila time uko ..."
Marya also said; "Also career, you may find we are not always all over each other, not because we don't love each other, but amekuja home amechoka, nimekuja home mnimechoka.
I just want to relax, si kwa ubaya so unapata a whole week imepita without you ever cuddling, na si kwa ubaya, hiyo ya bed iko. I'm talking about io ya sitting room."
Felicity related and Marya insisted to their online fams that it does not mean they are not loved. "Juu sasa watu wataaanza. 'Oh you guys are not loved, sijui si tunapenda, unaona huyu ameptaa CX5,'" she clarified.
In her parting shot, Marya advised. "Sisi tunawaambia tuu, guys if you are single ama have just started dating enjoy. Because this is the reality of married life. Si mbaya but, expectations zako, leave at the door, and take home."
Felicity told her that she would discourage people to which Marya replied. "No it's not bad expectations babe, si we uko sawa, eh it's not discouraging, sisi hatukuwa na mwakenya sis tunawapea mwakenya.
"Because honestly speaking hakuna kudanganyana hapa. Unaona ile maua inapangwangwa, go ask that girl hafanyangwa every day, don't pressure your person ati some of these things zina fanywa once in a while to maintain. Reality of marriage and nini, is you don't get to gauge love as na emotion, you gauge it as a decision. "
She finished by saying that this misconception leads to girls getting angry in marriage,
"Ukiwa na hio emotion ya kukatisika nini, you will misdirect your marriage. Because the reality of marriage ni it's a decision, emotion won't..."
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