• Jane Muthoni was in a toxic first marriage.
• She also got depressed after her marriage failed.
Celebrated Kikuyu artist Jane Muthoni has shared how a toxic marriage made her suicidal.
Jane who was in the past married to the father of her twins says she tried committing suicide twice.
Sharing her life experience with Ala C on 'Reke Ciume Na Ene' she narrated
"I tried committing suicide by wanting to throw myself at a coming trailer in Gatundu.
I chose a trailer because I did not want to survive. That was in 2010.
On that fateful day, I stood on the side waiting for a trailer, unluckily for me where I stood there was a bump so the lorry slowed down when it came close to me."
Jane says she felt disappointed after the lorry failed to hit her.
"I went home and cried after that.
I questioned God as to why he did not allow me to die yet I was the one who had looked for the trailer that I wanted to kill me."
Jane tried taking her life for a second time by taking a concoction of pills, luckily her late sister was still around and she ended up calling for help.
" I took all the pills that were in the house, put them together, and swallowed them.
Within no time I started feeling funny.
I had left my sister in another room. When I started feeling the pain I called her and told her the PIN to my ATM cards.
I also asked her to take care of my kids.
She was very confused, luckily she saw the empty medication sachets lying around and that is when she called for help."
Jane says after that she did not try taking her life because she was experiencing financial challenges but because she was stressed being in a toxic marriage.
"I have since learned my lesson and cannot try that again.
I now understand that the world is big enough to accommodate us and I am here for a reason." She concluded
Jane has since found love again and is happily married to the love of her life.
She got married a few years ago and relocated to the US where her husband is located.