Jackie Matubia: Moshene is sweeter than physical intimacy

Piece by: Maureen Waruinge

26 October 2022

• Jackie explains that married couples can go months without intimacy.

• She also tells that she is a hopeless romantic.

Actress Jackie Matubia got candid in a new podcast about some of the things people don't know about relationships, especially marriage.

In the first episode of the discussion, Jackie and a guest called Frank talk about independent women vs housewives and also delved issues involving work/life balance.

"I am working to help my spouse give the best that we can. In this generation at this particular point we have to do 50/50. The world is tough and I also have dreams as much as you have dreams and I can't stop my dream because you want someone to stay at home," she started.

Jackie insisted this doesn't mean she won't have time to take care of her man saying, "I will take care of my man hatakaa njaa."

Frank then told Jackie that independent women don't always have time for their husbands. "Yes I have heard reports from...not from you," he retorted.

She added; "Ngai kwani amekuwa akinisema?" possibly in reference to her fiance Blessing Lung'aho.

Jackie then asked from Frank whether it was her moshene (gossip) that was been discussed. Frank replied by refuting her assertion.

"It wouldn't be comfortable for me to have such a conversation with him because both of you are my friends . So me stori yenyu stakangi kujua."

Jackie then went on another tangent exploring why it was that some couples go without physical intimacy.

"Coz you guys come home when you are tired. We women also come home tukiwa tumebeat. You know people think ati when your married ni kila siku kila saa. oohhh. I am just letting you know, you can even go two months without. Laughing* welcome to marriage."

Jackie says it's not because the couple have marital problems. "Na hamja kosana by the way its not, people think that when married is all about physical intimacy. By the way I'm being very serious. People think marriage is physical intimacy daily kila siku kama dawa, but let me tell you one thing about marriage."

She continues about what most people don't know.

"When you are dating you have you all have dreams when you get married it is time now to keep those promises. Now you can't keep promising me hauniingizi box with promises, now I want to see the action. Uko na timeline uko na target."

Jackie then explained that the time taken to fulfil those promises is what occupies a spouse's mind, rather than thinking about physical intimacy.

"Its you go work, you come back, haiya get married and experience it, get married and see. It's not everyday by the way ask him. Ask any married man, he will tell you not because watu wamekosana not because you are falling out of love it is just life."

Frank then told Jackie that it was impossible for a man to last a month without physical intimacy. "There is no way a man will last one month, hiyo ni uongo."

Jackie laughed it off saying; "When children arrive it's worse, ata si months utapiga bro, it's true."

She however added an example of the sweetness of marriage being able to gossip with your man.

"Like yesterday nilikuwa na moshene and I could not tell him over the phone. So I waited for him to come shower, sit in bed and I'm like, babe you know kunakuwanga na hiyo excitement unampatia unampatia moshene."

Frank then asked why she preferred moshene over physical intimacy and then Jackie agreed saying; "Imagine it's sweeter. Nampatia moshene then we are like goodnight, goodnight , you turn you sleep analala."

So why did Jackie get married? "I got married because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with my best friend I'm not saying the physical intimacy isn't amazing *laughing* but..."