Today, Jane Mukami, one of the most influential fitness coaches in Kenya (male or female) decided to give her thoughts on marriage a few hours ago.
Using her Instagram page, Mukami opened up about the lessons she had learnt from one of the oldest social establishments in human history.
Yep! for those who didn't know, 41-year-old Jane was actually married for one year and got divorced in 2008.
1. Accept your partner as is, if not, keep it moving. "I will change him/her after we get married" That shit doesn't work. People change, when they chose to, not when they're made/forced to.
2. Age assumption - Some 40+-year-old men are so immature while a 30-year-old might be more mature. Age has nothing to do with maturity.
3. Marriage/relationships are not a bed of roses. Saying "I do" or committing doesn't mean sunshine and rainbows 24/7. There will be ups and downs, be ready & willing to do what it takes to make it work #rideordie
4. A partnership is KEY! 1 person carrying the entire relationship is cute for a little bit until it becomes annoying, exhausting, leads to resentment and causes problems.2 people on the same page working together is how it should be.
5. Communication and radical candor from both parties is necessary. Unwillingness to communicate, sweeping stuff under the rug causes problems later. If something bothers you speak up!!
6. Complementing vs completing - Both parties should be whole, happy/content with self (especially if older) vs trying to complete or make each other happy. You are responsible for your own happiness.
7. Autonomy to be authentic, true to yourself, your desires, and to grow/change over time together vs scared or not being 'allowed' to change/grow.
8. In times of trouble, keep your friends and fam out of it. Seek guidance from a neutral party that has your best interest at heart - therapy.
9. Leaving or ending a relationship is tough! You'd rather be alone, happy with peace of mind than in a situation that causes misery and kills your spirit. Do NOT stay to look the part or for the lifestyle/money! Go start from scratch with a piece of mind. Life's too short.
10. Trust your gut feeling. Marriage & relationship status does not define you. You define you. Until Mr. Right comes along focus on becoming the best version of YOU❤