GEOFFREY MBUTHIA ENTERTAINMENT SUB-EDITOR

08 October 2021

Nadia Mukami was interviewed recently by Gerry Wainaina on his Mkenya Mrekani YouTube channel. The "Wangu" singer disclosed that she was ready to propose to Arrow Bwoy, telling Gerry,

"The reason why I and Arrow Bwoy have worked is that we are friends. Hii kushinda mumeambiana 'I love you' 10 times a day, hapana. Are you, friends? Can I be able to have a situation and share it with him? And he advises me as a friend would? He can annoy me and I would tell him that to his face and we settle that together."

Sighing heavily, Nadia continued, "He is my friend, my safe space. If he doesn't propose, I will propose. I cannot start dating someone and they start asking me, 'What is your favourite colour?' and we start pretending before we know each other."

Here's where I come in with some sage advice, if you can call it that. On one hand, I understand Nadia's rationale and logic-She has a good thing going with Arrow Bwoy and want's to seal the deal.

Can't you just see the mountains of muscles that the singer has? But I digress. It makes sense in her mind why she wants Arrow as her forever man.

Who wouldn't want to live the rest of their life with the person who already knows their favourite colour? Sorry, I will stop now.

I do have a big reservation with a woman proposing to her hubby. While we are trying to live in a progressive post-feminist society, I think that there are some traditions that shouldn't be thrown out with the bath-water.

One of those is a man seeking a woman's hand in marriage. I believe this tradition not only kept the woman's best interest at heart but was also proof that the man asking was serious.

While we might want to ascribe forward-thinking and altruistic motives to the men today, we still have the lizard brain attached.

If many "truthful" men had their way, they would get the milk without paying for the cow but marriage was a way to safeguard the woman's interests in the whole affair.

Marriage is arguably the hardest and longest contract a human being will enter. Meaning, a husband who is supposed to lead and guide his wife and family should enter it of his own free and without possible coercion.

In essence, let the person who will provide and protect when his wife is pregnant and indisposed ( assuming that the couple gets a baby) make that all-important life-long decision to commit.

(In my mind, proposing to a man FEELS like those women who try to baby trap a man hoping that he will commit forever.)

Why should a woman never propose to the man?

Let the man prove that he is indeed in it for the long haul. I know that this article is steeped in traditional ideas of how a marriage should be run, which some will criticise me for.

But I still believe those ideas were excellent at weeding out men who weren't fully invested in a particular woman they were courting/dating.

In short, a man who proposes to his woman is likely more invested in that relationship ( and its success) than the one who doesn't.

This doesn't mean a woman can't ask a man for a relationship or commitment from him, of she so desires.

But I could be wrong...