What I like about Vera's advice is that it is very pragmatic as far as women from 3rd-world countries go.
In the west, a man can be compelled to pay child support and alimony at the source ( which is called garnishing his wages) even without seeing his child.
But unlike the west and first world countries, we don't have such a robust justice system that can follow up on deadbeat fathers not paying child support.
In this country, it is every man (or woman) for themself. This means that most times a man will only provide for his baby mama's children out of altruism or a desire to be a good father.
Rare is the instance where a man provides for a child he isn't living with (which often happens after court interference).
This reminds me of the phrase out of sight, out of mind. It is rare for a significant number of Kenyan baby daddies to participate in their child's upbringing.
Now add the difficulty of those baby daddies even seeing their kids ( because of vindictive baby mamas ) and you give them a conscience-pleasing excuse not to be in their children's lives.
As Vera said, who ends up losing? The kids, not just financially but also mentally, physically, and emotionally from not having their fathers around.
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