• The mother of one shared in a long post how she went through a hard time after that.

• It took time for her to overcome and one day she looked at herself in the mirror and was so furious.

Ruth Matete
Ruth Matete
Image: courtesy

Gospel singer Ruth Matete says the the death of her late husband John Apewajoye left her numb for months.

The mother of one shared in a long post how she went through a hard time after that.

She was three months pregnant but the drama was so much. She added that she would not even cry but remained numb, sad, and heartbroken.

It took time for her to overcome and one day she looked at herself in the mirror and was so furious.

She spoke to her self said all the great stuff she wanted and said she was done crying and had chosen happiness.

Check out her post;

''The death of my husband left me numb for a few months. So much was happening at the same time. Being pregnant for the first time and then all kinds of drama surrounding the death of my husband.

Some days I didn't even cry.

I was literally numb. I didn't know how to describe the feeling I had. Or was it feelings?

Was I sad, angry, heartbroken, scared, bitter? I didn't know. Oh my! In the following months, I cried myself silly. I cried and cried and cried.

And when I was done crying, I cried some more. Then one day I remember looking at myself in the mirror and was so furious!! I spoke to the person I saw in the mirror. I said all the great stuff I wanted. I told her I was done crying.

That I was still gonna be the woman I have always wanted to be. I spoke into my life great positive things. I was done with the pity party. I was ready to start all over again. Picked up my pieces.

Focused on God and my goals. I chose happiness.''

She added;

''Guys, I chose joy. Looking back, I now believe that everything we want and desire to be, won't just come because we desire it or because we want or even because we deserve it.

It is a conscious decision. A choice. Look,it wasn't easy. But each time I felt like drowning and wallowing back in my pity party, I remembered that mirror talk and suddenly got re-energized. God intervened in my situation. But I also made a choice. I chose peace. I chose happiness. I chose joy.

And after choosing it, I became very intentional about my choices.Am happy I did that. If someone told me I'd be here and feeling this way by now, I would have said they were mocking me.

But here I am. I am yet to achieve all my dreams. But am doing good so far. I am proud of myself. I am grateful to God for the grace too.

If you know me, by now you know that my life is an open book. Guys, I will get married again. I will speak it till I see it. It's not a sin. The bible allows me. I really desired love and to get married and have a family of my own. I got to enjoy that for four months.

God is not wicked. He knows why I had to lose my husband that soon. Oh! I trust Him still. In fact, I trust Him even more now. He is not done with me yet.''