Suicide is the act of intentionally causing one's own death. A kenyan artiste has come out to talk about a time when she struggled with thoughts of suicide.

Rapper Xtatic posted her ordeal on Facebook. This was after news of celebrities committing suicide hit the headlines. Just recently, Linkin Park singer Chester Bennington has committed suicide.

Chester struggled with drugs and alcohol for years. He had said in the past he had considered committing suicide because he had been abused as a child by an older male.

"Rock music actually saved more than harmed EMO kids than you can imagine, myself as I an example. But, the one thing that I usually didn't like about myself in a period after abandoning rock music because of some 'Sleep paralysis' incident (which was wrongly interpreted as I wasn't even aware of what sleep paralysis was and ... you know, being religious was a huge factor ... ), was that I started using that to tell people how Rock music was bad and they shouldn't even listen to rock at all even soft rock (which lures you in to DW). I demonized some EMO friends of mine, not realizing how much worse I made it for them than anything in this world. (I'm sorry?)," Xstatic said.

She continued, "And how I had met 'some devil or demons or lucifer' .. whatever, and was possessed (of which because of my perception of the whole incident, I believed I was), and even to extent of going around telling a few people to switch off music if rock came on because I felt like demons were calling me and that It was disturbing me. ?? Like, bitch, you don't know the half of me being religious and shit ... waaaah.

Of course, after dropping beliefs and all and really analyzing the situation, I saw the perceptional bs I was under and, of course, it was more of my beliefs seeing for me.

So Then, I was somewhere and rock was playing and I was sooooo happy and I felt free, then some Creed song came on and I became so emotional and glad and comforted followed by some Linkin Park songs from Minutes to Midnight."

I remembered so many incidences where I was really on the edge and had even prepared ropes and all kinds of pills, sometimes tell myself, "this time I would cut real deep" (I was a cutter, or I would bite my skin, or even sink my nails down my skin and strike a few times till I hurt myself to mostly redirect emotional pain to physical pain, some doctors said I was A schizo... I REALLY REALLY DON'T ENCOURAGE THIS, It's damaging I ALSO advise that you seek PROFESSIONAL HELP, please love ❤️❤️❤️. I could throw in some advice here and there ... and I could also just LISTEN if that's what you want.)

So then, in these 'prepared to die' times I would put rock music, imagining it would encourage me to do it, and instead I would feel better, a bit comforted and see how my decisions were going to help in any way, regardless of how much pain I felt they would ease. This was, especially, because a lot of these artists were singing about what someone may be going through that they went through it and there they were, alive and past that somehow or showing how they are jst as human living through it Regardless.

And I would end up taking up my invisible guitar and drum sticks full or adrenaline and end up feeling better than I was before, not healed but in a more sensible mind-state of "Not everyone is meant to understand you".

The healing had everything to do with me and not anyone in this world even music ... or death.

PS: Before going like, "but but not everyone ... But but Me this, me that ... "

I am talking about my experience and a conclusion from my experience. It doesn't have to be yours rather it doesn't represent yours, It speaks only for me; the only active participant in my own life and experiences.