Woman Crying

There’s nothing as bad as a woman dating a mama’s boy. He will never have time for you and every time you meet, you will always have to spend time at his parents’ home

Here is a story of a woman who is fed up with his boyfriend who still stays with his parents.

She wrote:

“I am a 25-year-old woman who has been dating my 25-year-old boyfriend for a little over two years. Since the moment I laid eyes on him, I have been completely in love. Although I do not technically live with him, I consume more than a drawer or two for my belongings in his room, and sleepovers span more than an average night. I still have my own bedroom in the basement at my mother’s home and I probably would spend more time there if her house were closer to my work. (‘Allen’ lives five minutes away from my job as opposed to my being more than thirty minutes away at my mother’s.) I also love being with my boyfriend, so I truly don’t mind the sleepovers (DUH!). What is even better about my relationship with Allen is that I am best friends with his mother. She and I couldn’t be more alike and, when we bring my mother into the mix, you can never tear us apart! The problem is Allen still lives with his parents.

I am well aware that nowadays, many ‘kids’ to stay with their parents longer than what was the norm in past generations. Allen was never the college type and went straight to work right after school. Seven years working for a huge construction company provides him with just as much (if not more!) than the average college degree salary. There was a year he was making more than his own mother! I, on the other hand, do not make as much as he does, but I still make enough for me to pay my bills and have a little money for play. Bottom line: Money is not the reason he still lives at home. At first, I thought it was, but now, as I am fully aware of his expenses, I realize that this is more along the lines of a bird not wanting to leave his nest and his mother bird.

There is a saying that a man chooses a wife who resembles his mother, and we are not the exception. Allen is her baby and she tended to him more than to his brother. Then, once I practically moved in, I became the laundry-washer, I laid his clothes out, and I brought him a cool cocktail after his hard day at work. Maybe some women hate that, but I am all for being a working woman and a housewife. I absolutely love taking care of him. I just want to take care of him IN OUR OWN HOME!

I am at the point where I have become an annoying nag. His mother is elated that I have come around. Before me, all he paid for was his car payment and retirement funds. Now I have combined our car insurance that we split, I got him in the habit of paying his phone bill, and now he pays half the groceries. (Before, I was just handing his mother money to compensate for my stays).

Bottom line: I have nagged, pleaded, whined, and done everything I could to show him that I am ready to move on with our lives. His parents put their house up for sale, which gave me hope (and his parents hope too!) that he would finally get that it’s time to move on. He instead makes excuses on everything and bounces back, like crazy, from renting to buying. He also states that maybe we should move with his parents until we figure things out. No. That’s where I draw the line.

I love him. I want to marry this man, but even that is another thing I feel he pushes back on. My family tells me that he just does not want to go to the next step with me. I think he’s scared. How do I fix this situation? Should I give him an ultimatum? I would hate to consider this a deal breaker considering this is our only bump. But this is a bump that we need to pass in order to move on with our lives!”