Blended families have become the order of the day, but the biggest challenge still remains how to work such a union work.

A blended family refers to a family in which both couples have kids from previous relationships.

Motivational speaker Sam West and his wife Vivianne are among such couples he has a son from a previous relationship while Vivianne has a daughter.

They are proof that blended families do work.

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Below are tips by Sam on how to successfully have a blended family/marriage.


According to Sam, the worst mistake done by people getting into marriages with kids from previous unions is the failure to prioritize their marriage.

If you are in such a marriage, children should not be your main focus as they will at some point grow up and be independent individuals.

So instead on focusing too much on the kids, focus on creating a good pillar for your marriage.


Learn to give attention to your spouse not because you think it’s okay, but because they deserve it.

Possession: See things as ‘ours’ and not ‘mine’

When in a blended union (where both of you have kids from previous relationships) learn to call them ‘ours’ and not ‘mine.’

This is because failure to do so might end up creating tension not only among the couple but also between the kids.


Make decisions together with your partner, and always ask for help when not on agreement.

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Ensure that the ‘bad cop’ is the biological parent to that kid

This majorly applies when it comes to matters discipline.

In a marriage, there must be a bad cop (parent) who is always disciplining the child and a (good cop) who is always neutral and calms the situation.

According to Sam, always let the bad cop be the biological parent to the kid.

Are you in a blended family?

What was your experience?

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