There have been a lot of cases lately of women being battered by their boyfriends or husbands and the trend is indeed worrying.
The Kenyan entertainment industry has also not been immune to such cases, with a number of popular personalities, including gospel artistes, caught in the web of domestic violence.
An example gospel singer Gloria Muliro who separated from her pastor husband, Eric Omba, who apparently cheated on her and had also been violent towards her. It turns out that things were not all cosy and joyful.
In yet another scenario in the gospel industry, Betty Bayo, who was Pastor Kanyari’s wife also claimed that he beat her up when she put up a post on Facebook disowning the fake, lying preacher.
Gorgeous Citizen TV news anchor Anne Kiguta has also had her own experience of being in a violent relationship and openly declared that she had been physically abused by her ex-boyfriend and baby daddy but eventually chose to walk away.
But now, we have cases where women are abused and still choose to stay in those violent relationships or marriages, like in the latest case where a woman was battered by her baby-daddy and had to be hospitalised.
So I decided to find out why some women stay with men who are violent. Here are 7 reasons why.
Some women have the fear of leaving their violent men because he or the family may have threatened her and the children. This may lead her not to feel safe leaving because she fears for her life and those of her children if she has any. The fear of being alone and single is also another factor that can lead a woman to stick with a violent man.
2. FINANCIAL STABILITY
If a woman is getting all the financial support from a man, she may find it hard to start afresh, especially if there are children involved and are schooling or if she can’t manage to be a single mother with little money. It gets worse if a woman is not working and depends entirely on her boyfriend/husband to cater to her needs and more so if she is living a flashy lifestyle which she cannot let go.
Other women may be embarrassed to leave their men as they do not want to be criticized by friends or family. Especially if a woman is officially married and has been flossing how she is in a happy relationship and would never leave the man, only for everyone to find out that she was being beaten the whole time.
Leaving someone you truly love is a hard thing, even in relationships that are abusive. Some women think that by staying by his side, he will see how much she loves him and change to become a better man/ stop being violent. Women are weak and fragile when it comes to emotions and love is one of those feelings, which may lead her to take all the beating in the name of love.
5. LOW-SELF ESTEEM
It’s sad but there are women out there who feel that they deserve the beating because she feels lucky to have the man in her life. If her man constantly blames her for the abuse, she may feel the need to be the one to change because to him she is the one on the wrong, and should stop doing certain things that make him angry! Yes, when a lady has low-self esteem or she does not respect herself enough, she will end up believing that the abuse it actually her fault.
6. BELIEVING ABUSE IS NORMAL
Sadly, women who have grown up in abusive families may not find it a big deal to be hit or abused physically by a boyfriend or husband. Thus they will not recognize that a relationship is unhealthy and thus would not see the need to walk away. Of course, such a person does not know what a healthy relationship is all about, they will not see this as violence but rather as a part of the whole dating/marriage thing.
7. SOCIAL PRESSURE
What does this really mean? Well, if the abuser is popular or a public figure, it can be hard for a woman to tell her friends of the abuse for fear that no one will believe her or that everyone will take the abuser’s side. This can be very hard for a woman to come out and even share about her situation. Her family may also pressure her to stick around maybe because he provides for everything, or because they believe marriage is sacred and should not be broken.