Hawkers outside Kenya National Archives in the Nairobi town centre. Photo / The Star
Hawkers outside Kenya National Archives in the Nairobi town centre. Photo / The Star

Nairobi, the City under the sun… and hawkers. It’s no secret that hawkers have filled the streets of Nairobi in the recent past posing many risks that you may want to avoid.

Here’s how to do it.

  1. Don’t carry a laptop. Its no secret that the streets are now filled with thieves who are taking advantage of the hawker filled streets. If you really have to carry your laptop, tie it on your chest with cellotape under your shirt.
  2. Buy clothes with zipped pockets. Avoid pick pockets in Nairobi by weating clothing with zipped pockets. Take those clothes to the tailor and tell them “Ongeza zip zingine, na si za kukojoa”
  3. Become a great dancer. To be honest, you will have to walk through the crowded streets and to avoid stepping on a hawkers goods you will have to become a good dancer. Before you leave the house, go and dance in front of the mirror or as the water pours on you in the shower
  4. Get your groceries lady to deliver your supplies in your place. Avoid being part of the people who create human traffic in Nairobi. Walking in Nairobi makes you remember “Haiya, sikununua machungwa”. Don’t buy fruits from the street
  5. Don’t go for a walk with your girlfriend in town; take her to a mall instead. Windowshopping makes your girlfriend very happy. In fact, it’s a great experience for her but create that good experience for her at another place. There are many malls all around Nairobi
  6. NUNUA GARI. Then again, after you get a car, you should lock your doors because these Nairobi robbers who have come with these hawkers can steal your phone. Buy a car and lock your doors
  7. Become a politician and operate using helicopters. Yes, if you are rich, you wont know that hawkers exist
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