Imagine my shock as I trawled the internets for a story to tell and came across this:
An author has been hailed as the Muslim answer to Belle De Jour, after penning the first ever halal sex manual for women.
The US-born author who goes by the pen name Umm Muladhat wrote The Muslimah Sex Manual: A Halal Guide to Mind Blowing Sex, which was released last week.
The book was inspired by a newlywed acquaintance who asked her to share some tips as - aside from being aware of the mechanics of lovemaking - she had no idea what to do with her husband in bed.
'I put an emphasis on having sex only with your spouse, but having the full range of sexual experiences with that spouse,' Umm told.
'Islamically, there's an emphasis on enjoying physical relationships within the context of marriage, not just for procreation. It is the wife's right that her husband satisfy her sexually.'
The no-holds barred tome includes chapters on everything from 'How to be a freak in bed' to BDSM and 'Forced sex fantasies'.
US-born author Umm Muladhat has published the first ever halal sex guide for Muslim women, who she says have a right to be satisfied by their husbands (stock image)
On her website, Umm explains that her journey to writing the book started two years ago when an acquaintance admitted to her she was struggling during the first few months of her marriage.
'Her sex life was horrible. In fact, it was fast becoming non-existent. She had been a model Muslimah her entire life. Before marriage, she had never so much as held a non-mahram's hand, let alone become physically intimate with one,' Umm explained on her .
'She had eagerly looked forward to marriage as a chance to finally indulging in all the physical intimacy she had postponed for the sake of Allah.
But the new bride had no idea of what sex should involve, other than the mechanics.
The Muslimah Sex Manual's guide to kissing
Start by making eye contact with your husband. Give him a small smile and a light touch before beginning the actual kiss. Maybe put your hand on his face or touch his leg. Make him anticipate the kiss.
Begin slowly and gently. You don't want to rush into the kiss and bump teeth. Start with a kiss on the lips. Tilt your head to the side so that you don't bump noses. When your lips meet, slowly squeeze his lips into yours.
After a while, you can morph this into a French kiss. Do this by slowly opening your mouth wider until you can put your tongue into his mouth and touch his tongue. Use your tongue. Tease him with light flicks. Go back and forth into each other's mouths. Trace the edge of his lips with the tip of your tongue. Explore his mouth! Feel his gums and teeth with your tongue. Make sure to give him opportunity to reciprocate.
Don't just kiss on the lips. He has other kissable parts too! Work on his neck and collarbone. Bite, but gently. Nibble his earlobe or neck. Maybe his bottom lip. If you're adventurous, give him a hickey. Kiss his neck with a slightly open mouth. Suck in the skin. This will leave a mark so be careful where you do it!
Remember, a kiss is more than just your mouth. Use your hands. Don't leave your hands limp in front of you or on your lap. Explore your husband's body. Put your arms around his neck. Touch his arms. Run your hands down his back or chest. Run your fingers through his hair and massage his scalp. His body is exclusively yours for the rest of your marriage! Explore the goods!
'She didn't know what he liked. She didn't even know what she liked,' Umm explained.
So Umm wrote down all the knowledge she'd gained from 30 years of marriage, chats with friends and magazine articles, which had culminated in a 'robust sex life' with her own husband.
A month later she saw the girl again, and this time she had 'a huge smile on her face' and begged Umm to start sharing her knowledge.
Read more :
Beyond the glass, creative ways to consume Okras and get full benefits