I was minding my own chilling in a matatu when a lad and his friend checked in. The lad in question had a cap on and his friend, none so for the sake of this tale, one will be referred to as nu era and the other just as "friend".

Anyway, nu era fitted begun talking about some lass he is seeing who has been doing some rather weird things whenever they hung out. His friend checked him and told him she didn't just start doing these things, he just didn't care to look for the signs and if he saw them he chose to ignore them.

Nu era fitted tried to put up some lame defense but he quickly agreed that he saw some of these things but chose to turn a blind eye to them cos the lass in question is hot. At this juncture, please allow me to say something tangential: I was really impressed with "friend". He seemed to be alot wiser than his friend and wasn't up for the tomfoolery. A lad after mine own heart.

The two of them got off and I didn't get the full details but it did get me thinking; there are some signs that are straight red flags! And I kid you not, they are as clear as crystal and hard to miss unless you're thinking with your other brain.

#1. If she still talks to her exes

The only reason anyone still talks to their ex is if they are still hang-up on them. Facts. Lasses will deny this but in truth, the only time a lass will maintain contact with her ex is if she has to work with him, or if they have a child together. The other reasons are porojo.

#2. If she says all her exes were "crazy"

There is no way all her exes were crazy. If they were, she has a problem -she's clearly a poor judge of character. But it's more likely she is the crazy one because she is the greater common denominator. And trust me, the same title awaits you when you're relationship has run it's course.

#3. If she takes selfies everywhere

Why you ask? Because she's still childish. A lass who is always taking selfies is stuck in her narcissistic phase. Leave the children in the kiddies playpen brah.

#4. If she can't keep time

If she doesn't respect your time, then don't bother establishing a relationship with her. She isn't worth the hassle. A lass that doesn't respect your time, doesn't respect you. Simple as that.

#5. If all her pals are male

There is this load of malarky! The only reason lasses keep guys as friends is because they need these men to keep orbiting them like planets orbit the sun. That way, she constantly has her pick of lads whom she can drop you for or who can validate her BS when she needs to cry to someone about your relationship.