Obama, the son of two worlds is finally home. Karibu sana. And while at it, why not take this opportunity to see whether things have changed much from your last sojourn back home. Then you were -to borrow Alfred Mutua's words,

"an immature political puppet"

But you are now the most powerful person in the "free world". I understand that all those stately privileges being accorded you would make such a holistic experience difficult but trust me when I say it would be worth it!

And there are 5 things you could do to enjoy the experience:

#1. Take a matatu to or fro town (preferably a matatu to Rongai)

Why? Because nothing is as authentically Kenyan as have the Bejesus scared out of you by a reckless matatu driver. And since I would like you to enjoy the thrill of truly Kenyan experiences, this makes it to the top of the list.

And none are quite as daredevil as Rongai matatu drivers. Trust me, you will see Kenyan roads through the eyes of Kenyan passengers!

#2. Go to 1824 to see how Kenyans party

Kenyans love to party. So when Friday the 24th became an unofficial holiday, 1824 became the defacto unofficial Obama holiday celebration spot. Why? Because it knows how to throwdown a party. And so if you ever want to catch a tipple in an authentically Kenyan entertainment spot, make your way over to the Lang'ata Road whisky bar. Wait, scratch that! Do not! I do not need to deal with such a headache!

#3. Try to walk on Kidero's grass

Why? Because I figure this is the only way you will get to enjoy being a proper guest of the state -not to mention the intimate deep tissue massages County Council Askaris are fond of dispensing at no charge at all!

#4. Take a drive up the Nakuru Naivasha highway

Here you will not only get to see the potholes that were covered up everywhere you are anticipated to pass through save for the Nakuru Naivasha highway. For you see Hussein, or is it President Obama (I am not too good at titles and formalities) before you came to Nairobi, a mining company was contracted to seek buried treasures that were hidden along the very length and breadth of the road.

This has turned travelling along the highway a rather enjoyable experience for most Kenyan drivers who are known for the love of destroying their vehicle's suspension system. Trust me, it will be fun!

#5. Enjoy some mutura

Nothing holds down Kenyan bachelor's stomachs quite like a local delicacy called mutura. What is it you ask? Allow me to remind you. The Irish have something similar to it called haggis and sausages are also similar to it. It is tripe, the African sausage.

This delicacy is rather tasty but the excitement comes from knowing you are playing Russian roulette with your guts for you see, it is often prepared under the most unsanitary of conditions but the heat kills off most of the germs... We hope.