A local news website a few days ago told us of a 21-year-old girl who was suspected to have killed her boyfriend because of a text message from another lover in BuruBuru. I know a lot of guys must have felt a shiver down their spine when they heard that, especially when they thought of all the girls they are cheating on.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, is that how the saying goes? It is so true. If you're a man looking to protect yourself from a sudden and painful death from a scorned lover, do not cheat. Or at least don't get caught. If you can't do that, here's how to find out if your girl is likely to kill you if she finds you cheating.

1. Your Girl Is Very Manly Physically

Think Conjestina. If your girl is over 5'6 and weighs over 60kgs, you should be very afraid. This girl is heavy and not to be messed with. Especially if you are a skinny lad that cannot hold his own in a fight. Stay faithful because if your girl catches you cheating, this one will kill you.

2. Your Girl Has Exhibited Signs And Symptoms Of Violence

If you come home and find your girl is sharpening her knives and looking at you menacingly or if your girl calls you into the kitchen and she is hovering over a sufuria  of boiling water,then you need to be very careful; be very cautious unless you want your transformer brought down or to meet your maker or your face turned into steaming cabbage.

3. Your Girl Overreacts To Everything

If your girl starts crying out of the blues or overreacts to trivial things like when you forget to fix the shower head, ogopa. This means that even when your friend, Ciku sends you an innocuous emoji text, she'll think you're cheating and may even off your head.

4. Your Girl Picks Random Fights

"Umemwaga chumvi", "hukufunga mlango"...

If your girl picks fights over such petty things, what do you think would happen if she caught you cheating or even suspected you were cheating? She would off your head in a heartbeat.

5. Your Girl Puts Up With Your Nonsense

You probably think she is the most innocent, naive creature in the universe. No matter what you do she forgives you and takes you back. This is the one you should fear because when she has had enough, she'll be like a balloon pricked by a pin. When she is done with you, it will look like you fell off a flyover, got hit by three trucks and then shot ten times.

So gents, beware.