I have been away tending to mine but as soon as I came back, I found that my colleague had run a rather interesting piece on her pet peeves of Nairobi lads. I went through the list and though I agreed with one of the things she'd highlighted, I couldnae co-sign most of the stuff she put up.

And it got me thinking; do Nairobi lasses also realize they have things they do that are simply disgusting? Or as my more amiable friend Xola would say, "off-putting". And to be honest, it's 2016. the year of the ratchets is long over and one can't help but wonder why lasses still think it's cool to be sophisti-ratchet.

Yeah, so 2013 called and it wants it's bullshit back.

So I decided to ask my lads for what it is they loathe about Nairobi girl's behavioiur. And it was a rather emotive conversation. And this is what I was informed that my nephews hate about Nairobi lasses:

#1. smelly weaves

This is one habit I detest to my core. I do not understand why in this age of enlightenment Nairobi lasses still swear by their stinking weaves. NO! Weaves have to go. They are the reason why Donald Trump is an actual presidential candidate! They are the reason matatus hike their fares whenever it rains.

How does a self respecting lass walk around with a weave n her head that goes untouched for 3 months?!

MUNANUKA!

And for the lasses who smoke, those things are not just a fire hazard but a health hazard aswell because when we come into contact with you we inhale 2nd hand smoke.

#2. omba-omba

Nothing is as sexy as a lass that's got her own. But when you're in Nairobi, these lasses have flipped the script. They believe they are sexy only if they can "toanisha".

And the thing is, the lasses who abide by this rule are often have low self esteem and would aptly fit the billing of "peasants". Do not blame me for my choice of words, I was watching Les Miserables this weekend.

Anyway, I do not understand why lasses think getting guys to buy them stuff is proof of how attractive they obviously are BUT ALAS! It's just off-putting.

#3. lasses acquiring taste on your tab

Every lad I spoke to opened up about lasses who are accustomed to using matatus insisting on taking an Uber cab on your tab... Or lasses going out to the club and ordering top shelf drinks while they are perfectly fine buying themselves Kenya King shots. And this scenario always ends badly -with the lasses mwauraing all over the place.

#4. flashing and sending "please call me" texts

Yeah so 2013 called again... This time it left a message, "Hii ni ujinga."

#5. kumangwa kila mahali kama mambuzi

Just no! If you still do this then you deserve to be afflicted by some extinct STI. Nay, you deserve to be afflicted by leprosy. I understand you are free to be as sexually active as you want to be BUT I hope you've read the caveat emptor... AIDS is real.