'I like my best friend's boyfriend!' How to handle such a scenario

Piece by: Caroline Mutembei
Lifestyle

  1. Walk away

This is probably the hardest way to handle the situation for some people.

It just might be the only quick way to remedy it though.

Being able to walk away from a weird love triangle might be the best for all those involved. It often takes a more mature person to walk away from a situation such as this.

So be the bigger person and stop pursuing him. Is it really worth ruining your friendship over a guy who may or may not like you?

2. Be open about it

Don't keep your feelings bottled up, even if your friend started liking him first.

If you keep all those feelings inside, you'll start to resent your friend if she does, in fact, end up with him. Sit her down and just let her know that you've developed feelings for him!

3. Watch how your friend reacts

Master up the guts and tell her. It can get pretty awkward if she finds out from someone else!

When telling your friend that you like the same guy she does, be sure to watch her reaction, especially if you have a friend that won't tell you right away about how she really feels.

Sometimes things have to sink in for a while before someone can talk about it. Keep an eye on her facial expressions as you are telling her.

This should be a good indicator for telling if she's mad, sad, or indifferent.

4. Look at his past relationships

It's wise to look at all the relationships that this guy has had before you.

If he jumps from girl to girl, then you might want to think again before trying to start a relationship with him. It might even be a good idea for you to warn your friend as well.

You wouldn't want her to be hurt either. Take a look at what types of people his last girlfriends were as well.

Is he friends with his exes?

This might tell you a bit more about him, who he's interested in, and the kind of boyfriend he'd make.

5. Make a list of reasons why you like him

Write down why you like him and see if there are a lot of reasons.

If there are any cons that come to mind, definitely write those down as well.

If the pro list is only a word or two, then it might be a good idea to think about this situation a bit more. For your sake, I hope you've got "He has a crush on me" on the list.

6. Determine compatibility

Are you two even really compatible?

If he loves sports and you can't stand them, this is one conflict. If he is an outdoors person and you would rather sit in a quiet library and read about visiting different places, this might be a problem.

I know that the saying is that opposites attract, but when everything about you is a complete opposite, it might actually pose more hindrances.

Being able to connect with someone over shared likes is how people usually grow closer. Is he more compatible with your friend?

7. Sisters before misters

Remember that when you and your friend like the same guy, she will be there for you a lot longer than he possibly will.

Guys will come and go over the years, but friends are usually in our lives forever. Who's been around longer? Who knows you better?

Think about your friend first and the times you spent together...the late-night movies on each other's couches, the prank calls, and know-how your possible relationship with this guy might affect her and everything you've had.

8. Figure out if it is love or lust

Lust is often what draws people to each other.

They are physically attracted and think it is love, but usually not.

Very rarely is there love at first sight. You have to get to know the person before you can decide if it is true love, or if it's just lust.

When the romance fades, will you still want to hang out with him? Is it a completely physical attraction or are there other great qualities about him you like?

These are a couple of questions you might want to ask yourself.

9. Don't let  jealousy get in the way

Knowing how hard it is to deal with a jealous boyfriend/friend, would you want to put your friend and yourself through that?

Jealousy can ruin friendships for no reason at all. There's no need for it. You just feel jealous because you can't control how she's feeling.

Jealousy only makes people angry and this often causes things to be said that can never be taken back again.

If you find that you have jealous feelings towards your friend, then you need to figure out why and how they can be remedied.

10.Decide if it's worth loosing a friend

Is this guy really worth losing your friend over?

If it comes down to you and your friend getting into a fight over this guy and it doesn't work out with you and him, what then?

You have a hurt friend that has been with you a lot longer than this guy has, but you've lost her trust in your relationship. It is a hard thing to patch up.

These are a couple of questions you might want to ask yourself.