Dear women, are you on any social media platform? What type of user are you?
Are you the whistleblower, slay queen or the rumourmonger type?
Below is a list of women you will find on social media:
These are the idlers. Nothing can pass them. They’re always on the radar. They’re the first to tag you in posts immediately someone shares. They also take screenshots just in case a post is pulled down. Their catch phrase is itaneni.
They thirst over hot men. They will always tag you in photos of William Levy, John Legend, Idris Elba among other Instagram hotties. Aren’t they good friends? Anataka wote mkule kwa macho.
3. Socialites/slay queens
They are the superstars. They can make you hate your life. From showing off imitation of designer bags and clothes to flaunting well-manicured nails, and spending time at expensive restaurants, they deceive many.
But behind closed doors, they’re struggling to make ends meet. Six of them share a bedsitter in Githurai, and can’t raise Sh10k rent per month. But back on Instagram, they are the queens. Wanatesa kutesa.
Their work is to pimp women and hook them up with rich men. They hide behind funny pages and hashtags eg sexiest African women.
These are the ones who stalk people on social media and take their pics without permission and use them elsewhere. They read you in and out. They at times send you messages with pseudo accounts and even threaten you.
6. Wife material
From dressing in a modest way to sharing photos of food she has prepared, this is the type who will get a husband easily. They say a way to a man’s heart is through the stomach and most men wife women who can cook. Most slay queens end up being side chics because they can’t pass for wife material.
7. Looking for men
They are only on Instagram to search for men. Such types of women will be all over celebrities or men they crush on DMs saying ‘hi’ every minute. Most of them are looking for sponsors to take care of them.
They can destroy you in a second. They will start a rumour without even confirming the truth. They will trend a rumour for days just for clicks.
9. Trolls for hire
They always refer to themselves as #TeamA, #TeamX and so on. Most of them form these teams to support their favorite celebrity. In case you’re involved in an online fight with their favorite celebrity, they will troll you for days. Some are very bad that can leave you depressed. Ladies, why would you want to be a gun for hire?
10. The clueless
They are always late in everything. They always jump on trends very late when people are least interested. Most are clueless because they don’t keep up with trending topics.
11. Motivational speakers
From sharing Bible quotes to inspirational quotes. These type of women can make you give your life to Christ if you aren’t saved. They preach water on social media and back home drink wine. Dear peeps, let no one fool you on social media. You can go to church and listen to your pastor.
This type of women always caption their photos with unmatching Bible verses and quotes just to get traction.
They will pretend to be selling stuff and dupe you once you pay. Some will even start a kitty to help someone or a bereaved family but once she collects the money, she goes missing.