They take women for bar dates. Yes Kenyan men, why be romantic when we can have Nyama choma and Ugali from Njuguna's?
Have a Kitambi. A pot belly is a sign of wealth. Ladies don’t like broke men, right? Hio gym ni ya Instagram. The real definition of abs is a one-pack.
Money compensates for an uninteresting personality. You can afford to be boring when you have money, right? Pesa ni sabuni ya roho. You don’t need to have that personality. Just have money!
Get role models. Why aspire to be like Bill Gates when you can join a cartel and get rich without creating an industry? This is the typical characteristic of Kenyan men.
Support Arsenal. Arsenal is not about winning, its about commitment. The club may be trash, but at least you are a loyal Kenyan man who sticks by his losing side. Being fourth is great!
If you are asked “Do you have a girlfriend?”, your response is “Depends on the setting... hapa nje niko single”
Eat roadside meals because you are too much in a hurry to get to a hotel. Have you had the roadside maize? Njugu? Sugarcane? That food is delicious!
Don’t learn how to cook and clean. In fact, be totally helpless when you are single. Besides, those are not your responsibilities... right?
Ask your barber for the solution to all of life's problems. “How do I get that client?” “How do I solve my broken family issues?”. Your barber knows all the answers. This is among the best habits you can have.
Do stuff to make your parents happy ...not necessarily because you really want to. Yes, go get that degree, get married or pursue that career. Make them proud.
If you can do all of these and more non-introspective habits, you'll be among the effective Kenyan men who believe in anything.
Habida opens up after losing her voice for two weeks